Page 116 of Alec’s Dream

And Alec had just been Alec. And because he was simply the kind of man other men admired, my dad liked him. They had slipped outside without Caleb under the pretense of checking out Alec’s toys in the barn. They’d been gone for quite a while and when I started to fret, my mom calmed me down by telling me how happy she was the kids and I had found Alec.

She didn’t see a problem with me moving in so quickly.

She just shrugged and told me, “I knew by the end of my first date with your father he was the man I was going to marry. And if you ask him, he’ll tell you he knew on the drive to the restaurant.”

To which I replied, “But you didn’t move in with him that night. And you didn’t have two kids.”

My mom’s eyes lit, her face went soft, and she explained, “If that had been an option, I would’ve. And don’t you worry about Aurora and Caleb, they’re getting exactly what they need.”

Then my mom changed the subject to the upcoming holidays. And it must be noted that throughout the evening, June Hartley barely put down Jocelyn. She snuggled Joss as much as Joss would allow, and when my mom wasn’t holding the baby, she was watching Rory and Joss play together.

Now we were getting ready to say goodnight. It was getting late, the kids needed sleep and Jocelyn was cranky even though she’d had a cat nap. My father never being one for subtlety, kissed his grandkids goodnight, shook Alec’s hand, and told me he needed a word in private.

Alec decided to clear the room instead of me walking my parents out to their car in the dark and cold. I knew that was why he told Rory and Caleb it was time to go upstairs and get ready for bed. I knew because he straight out said I wasn’t going out into the cold, dark night, then he kissed my forehead and he and Joss followed my kids and left me alone with my parents.

“Gonna ask you this once. Is this where you want to be?” Surprisingly, Dad’s voice wasn’t gruff and full of concern—it was laced with curiosity and affection.

“Positive.”

“I wasn’t happy about what happened. Still not, but now at least I’ll be able to sleep tonight knowing you three are safe.” My dad paused and the curiosity faded but the affection remained. “This right here is all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

Shit. I was going to cry. I knew what my dad saw when he looked at Alec. I knew what he was thinking as he watched him with the kids. And I knew what my dad was feeling when he watched Alec with me. Everything he wished I’d had for the last fifteen years.

Everything I’d once wished I had, but now that it was mine, I realized I didn’t have the first clue what I’d really wished for, because I had no idea life could be this beautiful.

34

“How’s Micky feeling?” Alec asked as he entered Nixon’s office noting the absence of his friend’s pregnant wife.

“Morning sickness is finally gone, so she’s in a much better mood. Or at least she’s not puking her guts up while telling me this baby will be an only child.”

Somewhere in the back of Alec’s mind, he wondered if Jaime had morning sickness, but the thought was just that—a thought. The guilt that had once accompanied any contemplation about the mother of his child didn’t punch him in the gut the way it used to.

Over the last three months, Macy had helped him work through his issues. She hadn’t pushed him to talk about it, not even after he’d given her the letter that Jaime had left him. Macy simply read it, not concealing her sadness or tears. When she handed the note back to Alec, all she’d said was “You get to feel any way you want to feel. No shame in that.”

That was all Alec had needed to start letting go of the uncomfortable self-loathing that had taken root. He was allowed to feel any way he wanted. It was okay for him to be mad, hurt, and wounded he’d been kept in the dark about a child he’d created.

But none of it ate at him now the way it used to. Not when he had so much to be grateful for.

“Glad to hear it,” Alec returned.

“Championship game this weekend, right?”

“Yeah. Last practice before the game. You and Micky coming?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

And Nixon wouldn’t. Something else to be grateful for. Nix, Jameson, and Weston never missed a game. Holden and Chasin made as many as they could, meaning if they weren’t on the road working, their asses were at the game. McKenna, Kennedy, and Silver had rallied around Macy and pulled her into the girl posse just like Alec thought they would, so they never missed a game either.

Something that Caleb loved, and he didn’t hide the fact that he did. More goodness—Caleb had opened up and it was arguably more beautiful than the way his sister loved those around her. She’d always been untouched by the shit Doug had piled onto the three of them. But Caleb had been crippled under the weight. With that burden gone, the kid flourished.

So Alec had it all. Everything he ever wanted, and every night when he came home after practice with Caleb and walked into his house, now cluttered with kids toys, shoes, coats, artwork, and school projects, the emptiness he’d felt was gone. His house wasn’t too big, it was just right. Macy, Caleb, Aurora, and Jocelyn had turned it into a home.

“I’m headed out. Have a good night,” Alec told his friend, knowing Nix, too, was going home to a house full of love, so he’d have a good night.

Alec was in his SUV on his way to the park for practice when his phone rang.

Macy.