Page 25 of Alec’s Dream

“I see you’re the same stupid bitch you’ve always been.”

I didn’t answer. I stepped around Doug, waved to Caleb, blew kisses to my sweet, baby girl, then walked on wobbly legs to my car.

I waited until Doug drove away before I started my car.

It took me three tries, my hands were shaking so badly.

The knock came at seven-thirty.

I was sitting on my couch, already in my jammies, nursing my sorrows with a bag of microwave popcorn and Angry Orchard.

So I ignored it.

My parents were out of town for the weekend, the kids were at Doug’s. My friend Becky had already reported Doug had made it to his place, each kid carrying a McDonald’s bag. Then she’d texted a few minutes ago to tell me Doug’s truck was still in the driveway.

That was my best girl, always looking out for me. She’d had a conniption when after my divorce, Doug had moved in across the street and two doors down. She and her husband Rob had lived there forever, therefore, Doug knew he was moving into her ‘hood. That pissed her off because she felt like Doug was rubbing her nose in all the skanks he brought back to his place, and by extension, mine.

Rob, of course being the sane one in our trio had calmed his wife down explaining it was a good thing Doug lived so close so they could keep an eye on my kids when they were at Doug’s house. So for the last three years, I got updates when my kids were at Doug’s.

Knowing a little bit about what was going on helped, but it did have a downside. And that was, Rob hated Doug only a little less than my dad, and that was only two steps down from how much I despised him. I think the only person who hated Doug more than me was Becky.

Becky was easy to contain, Rob not so much. And the longer my ex-husband kept fucking with me the harder it was to talk Rob out of bashing his head in with a crowbar. Which he would totally do for me if I gave him the go-ahead.

Something I would never do, because he had two boys who loved him and my kids adored their Uncle Rob and would miss him if he went up the river for twenty-five to life. Becky, however, would gladly visit her man behind bars and only getting conjugal visits if it meant Doug was no longer breathing. That was how much my best girl loved me.

Therefore, I could ignore the knocking at my door because I knew precisely where everyone I cared about was.

What I couldn’t ignore was the pounding.

I tossed the blanket off my legs, set my popcorn on the table and prowled to the door.

I didn’t bother checking the window or the peephole when I threw my door open, ready to lambast whoever was daring to disturb my sulking.

I didn’t get a word out before a very angry Alec got in there first.

“What the fuck?”

I glanced at him, then at Jocelyn who was perched on his hip and asked, “What the frick what?”

Sure I cursed, I cursed a lot in my head. I tried my best not to do it in front of my children and normally succeeded except for an occasional damn or shit, but never fuck. And I certainly never cursed around other people’s kids—not even a shit or damn, and absolutely never a fuck.

Though Alec didn’t seem to have the same qualms. Admittedly, Jocelyn was too young to understand, but still.

“You didn’t check who was at your door.”

“And lucky for you I didn’t or I wouldn’t have opened it, depriving you of spreading your cheer.” I kept my hand on the door and asked. “What are you doing here?”

“Mamamamama,” Joss chanted and my heart melted.

The first time she’d babbled “mama” and planted her chubby face in my neck, my heart flipped. Then I reminded myself I was not her mama, and I couldn’t allow a child, no matter how I adored her, to call me something I wasn’t.

That started me telling her my name was Macy. Jocelyn had continued calling me “mama” and I’d convinced myself she was saying Macy in baby babble. And I did this for my own peace of mind. I’d never heard Joss call Veronica “mama” nor did she call any of the other women who worked at the daycare “mama.” Only me. So it was easy to convince myself she was calling me Macy.

“Hey, Joss,” I cooed and Jocelyn threw herself in my direction.

Alec happily passed his daughter to me and I realized too late that was his plan.

Fuck.