Page 4 of Alec’s Dream

“Whatever,” Alec grumbled and checked his watch.

He needed to leave if he was going to make it to the daycare center to pick up his daughter on time.

“Never thought I’d say this,” Nix started, “but fatherhood looks good on you.”

Alec shook his head and chuckled. Just thinking about his daughter made something warm hit his chest—an emotion he was getting accustomed to—one he now understood. Pure, unadulterated love.

If nine months ago someone would’ve told Alec he’d be a single dad and head-over-heels in love, he would’ve laughed his ass off.

The first month after Jocelyn’s arrival had been hell. Not only did Alec not have the first clue how to take care of a three-month-old but he couldn’t wrap his head around the guilt and shame. If it hadn’t been for his friends, he would’ve been fucked.

But they’d all rallied around him. Nix, Jameson, Weston, Holden, and Chasin hadn’t allowed him to wallow in his self-pity. McKenna, Kennedy, and Silver had stepped up and taught him what they could about how to care for the baby.

Hell, it had been McKenna who’d taught him to change a diaper. Kennedy who taught him how to make a bottle. Silver had been there when Alec attempted to bathe the wiggly, wet infant for the first time. By the end of the catastrophe, Alec’s tee was soaked through, Jocelyn was screaming her head off, and Alec was having second thoughts about his ability to care for his daughter.

Then there were all of the other five thousand things he’d needed to learn. All the while his friends had stood by him—encouraging him, lending a hand when he needed it.

But it was the burning shame that ate him up—he was furious with Jocelyn’s mother. A woman who had been tragically taken from his daughter. A woman he knew next to nothing about. A woman who had kept his child a secret. The knowledge scorched his insides.

If Jaime had not died, Alec never would’ve known Jocelyn existed. He would’ve missed out. And that pissed him right the fuck off.

Alec had spent a lot of time over the last nine months reading and rereading Jaime’s letter. He’d spent countless nights lying next to his daughter after she’d fallen asleep, trying to forgive her mother for not telling him she was pregnant. Then he’d spent more days pissed at himself for being such a jackass that—one-night stand or not—Jaime didn’t think she could tell him that their night together had resulted in a child.

“You don’t bring Jocelyn over soon, my wife’s gonna hunt you down,” Nix continued.

“I’ve banned your wife from seeing my kid,” Alec told him. “I’ve been watching McKenna and I get the feeling she’s plotting a kidnapping.”

Alec jerked his chin in a goodbye and started back down the hall.

“You very well may be right about that,” Nix shouted.

“I know I’m right. Hurry up and knock her up so she’ll stop spoiling mine,” Alec bellowed as he made his way down the stairs.

“Trying, brother!”

That tidbit of knowledge made Alec pause. Nix and McKenna had been married just over nine months, it was no secret that McKenna had baby fever. It had started when Jocelyn had shown up and intensified when Weston and Silver’s son was born.

Alec came unstuck and continued down the stairs, he did this thinking about how crazy life was. Being a SEAL had taught him a lot—expect the unexpected. How to adapt and improvise. Yet none of his training had prepared him for fatherhood. Not that a man could ever prepare to love something so small more than his very own breath.

“Who’s the cutest almost-one-year-old in the world? Huh?” Alec watched Macy blow raspberries on Jocelyn’s belly. Then he forced himself to stay rooted when he heard his daughter’s peal of laughter. “Three more days until you’re the birthday princess.” Macy pulled down Jocelyn’s shirt then grabbed one of Jocelyn’s feet and started to fasten her shoe. “Stay still, my squirmy girl, we gotta get you ready for Daddy.”

My squirmy girl.

Fuck, that hit Alec straight through the heart. The whole scene playing out in front of him did, just like every time he caught Macy with his girl.

It was a painful reminder of what Jocelyn had lost. What she’d never have.

“You’re ready to take off running aren’t you? You got important places to go, huh, Jossy girl?” Macy kept talking, and with an ease born from years of practice, continued to get Jocelyn’s shoes on.

Jossy?

“Hope your Daddy’s ready for you to start running. I have a feelin’ you’re gonna skip right over the walking part.”

Fuck no, he wasn’t ready. As a matter of fact, Alec wasn’t ready for any of it, yet that wasn’t stopping Jocelyn from growing up.

But he really wasn’t ready for the walking part. Crawling had meant that Joss was mobile, which Alec had learned the hard way meant he couldn’t take his eyes off of her for even a second.

This lesson came in the form of Joss crawling out of the living room into the kitchen—which had scared the fuck out of Alec that his daughter was not where he’d left her when he went to the bathroom. But thankfully, Joss hadn’t been hurt.