Page 56 of Alec’s Dream

I wasn’t sure if I was offended at my friend's insinuation I was an idiot.

“You know I love you, but you like to pretend you’re not gorgeous and smart and funny and one hell of a good mother.”

“You only think that because as you said, you love me.”

Becky leaned back against my counter and I didn’t like the look she was giving me. It was a lot like Alec looked right before he told me the truth about something I didn’t want to hear.

“I know Doug—”

“Don’t.”

“I know what he did to you. I know because I was there. I watched it. I lived it right alongside you, powerless to help you. But Alec Hall is not Doug Spencer. They’re not even in the same stratosphere. Complete opposites. It’s time to open yourself up. Why’d you pull back after dinner?”

Becky obviously knew about the date, therefore when she’d called bright and early Sunday morning, I told her it wasn’t going to work out and there’d be no more dinners but I didn’t elaborate.

“Hello?” I motioned to my face. “Don’t you think I have enough to deal with?”

“Josh fucking Malone didn’t happen Saturday night. Doug fucking up again and gambling all his money away didn’t happen Saturday night. Yet you pulled back.”

“Because I knew. I freaking knew it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. Not the first time Josh Malone has gotten in my face, just the first time I caught his fist to it. I knew Doug screwing up more than his normal screwing up was inevitable. And let's see, what else…oh yeah, Doug’s playing a game with Rory. Caleb is showing signs he wants nothing to do with his dad. All of that has priority over me getting laid, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, it does. But if you think Alec Hall is sniffing around a single mom with a mountain of shit swirling around her just so he can get laid, then you are crazy. That man is hot, if he wanted a quick piece of ass he’d find it quick, fast, and in a hurry. Hell, he could walk into the Blue Bird and two minutes later walk out with a bitch on each arm.”

Great, that’s just the image I wanted in my head.

And how many times had my ex walked into the Blue Bird only to walk out five minutes later with a bitch on each arm willing to fuck a married man? Too many times to count.

“I can’t deal with this.”

Becky’s eyes softened and I hated that she was looking at me with pity. Once again I was poor, down-and-out Macy.

“Jonny’s gonna find Josh Malone, and if Jonny doesn’t do it fast, that man in there’s gonna do it and I have a feeling he’ll rip him apart. Can’t lie, I’m rooting on Alec. I’m just gonna tell you one last thing, because I love you and I want you happy. I see you’ve backed yourself into a corner but Macy, you’re fighting in the wrong one. Alec’s standing across the ring holding out his hand to you, offering you support. Take it.”

“I have to do this on my own.”

“That is where you are very wrong, sister. When shit goes sideways and you have family and friends around you who love you—you never do it on your own. You reach out, rally your people and go to battle. You are not a one-person army and trying to be is stupid. We love you, we love those kids, and you pulling away and saying dumb shit like you need to do it by yourself is a kick in the teeth. You are not what Doug said you were. You are not weak. You are not a bad mother. You were never a bad wife. You were never fat. You were never bad in bed. You were—”

“Stop! I get it,” I whispered.

“I don’t think you do and it kills me because you are so damn pretty and smart. You’re the best mom I know. The best friend. And it hurts to see you hide away.”

“I’m scared, all right.”

“Of Alec?”

“Yes,” I hissed. “He makes me want things I can’t have.”

“Mom!” Caleb bellowed, thankfully cutting off any further discussion.

“Yeah?” I moved into the dining area so I could see Caleb inside yelling across the house.

“Alec said he was ordering food. Sushi, Mexican, burgers, or pizza?”

Damn Alec Hall.

“I thought I’d cook—”

“No way. Alec said you need to rest. Rory, too.”