Page 64 of Alec’s Dream

I glanced over at Becky, then to Rob, and he had the same look as Alec. I was absolutely horrified at my behavior.

“You wouldn’t be struggling if that motherfucker took care of—”

“Please don’t start, Rob. I know you care about us. I know you think he should pay child support, but really, you can’t draw blood out of a turnip. It’s not like he’s rolling in it.” I motioned to my face and went on. “Evidence suggests, he’s in more debt than he was when I divorced him.”

“He wouldn’t be in debt if he stayed away from the tables.”

“Yes, well, we both know that’s never going to happen.”

“He needs—”

“Can we please drop it? I’ve had a crap day and we’re going over old territory.”

My day had been more than crap, it was positively shitty. But I didn’t need to emphasize that. One look at me told the tale of what kind of day I had.

“By the way, Jonny checked in,” Jameson announced and my eyes swung to his. “Malone is still at-large. Jonny said he’d be around in a while and he was sleeping on your couch tonight.”

“That’s not necessary,” I sighed.

“It’s him or me, babe,” Alec told me.

Why, why, why couldn’t Alec catch the hint I didn’t want him any more involved?

Maybe because you keep kissing him, dipshit.

“Fine. Jonny can stay.” I gave in. “It’s not my back that’s gonna be protesting in the morning.”

It wasn’t long after that Jameson and Kennedy said their goodbyes. Phone numbers were exchanged and hugs were given, which was strange but I went with it. If Kennedy’s sudden embrace didn’t freak me out enough, Jameson stepping into my space—capturing all of my attention because he was so big it couldn’t be avoided seriously freaked me. But then he gentled his features and spoke softly to me, telling me to call him if I needed anything. His words were quiet but there was no mistaking it as an offer made lightly. No, it wasn’t actually an offer at all—it was an order. After Jameson made his demand, he gave me a tight smile and stepped away.

Becky and Rob also said their goodbyes. There was lots of hugging with them too but I was used to my best friend’s easy affection. Rob’s too. But this time when Rob pulled me into his arms, he bent down and whispered for me to stop pushing people who cared about me away.

I didn’t think I was pushing people who cared about me away, I was just pushing Alec away. And I was doing it for his own good.

That, and I needed to keep my heart safe.

Jonny showed up and after he’d said his hellos to his niece and nephew, he and Alec disappeared into my garage. I was slightly annoyed they were talking about what was going on without my presence, but then again I didn’t want to take my eyes off my kids. So really, I wouldn’t have gone into the garage and Rory and Caleb didn’t need to hear.

“Is Alec, like, your boyfriend?” Rory asked and I choked.

“Um, no, honey. He’s just a friend.”

“But Jocelyn thinks you’re her mommy.”

“I see Joss almost every day, remember? And sweetie, she doesn’t think I’m her mommy.”

But I was beginning to think she did and I was lying to myself every day instead of putting distance between me and Jocelyn. The thought broke my heart, but maybe it was time for me to start having Veronica spend more time with Jocelyn. On that realization, I hugged the sleeping Jocelyn closer. I could’ve set her down hours ago but I hadn’t because the weight of her comforted me.

Tomorrow was a new day. I’d start letting the other women at work tend to Joss. It was the right thing. And I’d stop giving Alec mixed signals by allowing him to kiss me. Then I’d begin helping my kids heal from the latest trauma. After that, we’d go back to just being us.

20

The next day, Alec picked up a very cranky Jocelyn from daycare and he was pissed. Not that Joss was whiny and overly tired but because Macy was back to ghosting him.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hall. She didn’t nap today. I tried everything but she wouldn’t settle.”

Veronica had tried, not Macy. That rankled—big time.

“Did Macy try?” he asked even though he knew the answer.