Page 92 of Alec’s Dream

“That’s who I see, Macy. A fucked-up, broken, piece of shit. I’ve lived my life in a way I never regretted a damn thing—except meeting a woman in a DC bar nearly two years ago and sticking my dick in her. So much for me being a great father. And let's not forget, when I first got Joss, I was so fucked up, lost, scared, I had no idea what to do with my own daughter besides thinking about putting her up for adoption. I have to live with that guilt and regret, too. Because now I look at that little girl and I cannot picture my life without her in it.

“That’s what I see. So now you tell me, Macy, what do you see when you look in the mirror?”

I did not bother trying to stop the flow of tears. I had no idea that this strong, handsome man was carrying all that around. The weight of his shame was palpable, I could feel it bearing down, washing over me so thick I could choke on it.

I hated it so much I wanted to make it go away.

“I see…I see a weak, ugly woman, who continually allowed herself to get beat down and walked on.

“I allowed my husband to cheat on me because I didn’t care he was. He’d told me so many times how much I sucked in bed, that I didn’t know how to turn him on, that I’d let myself go after having Caleb and he couldn’t stand the sight of me. I did not give one shit he was fucking other women because that meant he wasn’t touching me. I see an undesirable woman with stretch marks, saggy boobs, no shape, no figure. I see that because that’s what he told me and I’m so damn weak I can’t stop thinking it now that he’s gone.

“I see a woman who used a man and brought all the shame and humiliation on herself because I needed to buy time before I could leave. Everything is my fault. I’m the town chump and I brought that on myself, too. I own that. I married a loser who played me because I was too stupid to see it even though everyone warned me. But I’m an idiot and didn’t listen. I bought that, too—everyone knows what a moron I am.

“I see unattractive and unworthy. Broken. Ugly. Not enough. That’s what I see.”

I’d been so lost in my tirade I missed Alec’s arms coming around me locking me close, his face losing all of the self-rumination, replacing the brooding with something soft and gentle as he looked at me in the mirror.

Yes, I was naked, but that was not the reason I felt so exposed. I’d peeled back the façade and gave him my truth. Who I saw. Who I was.

“Baby, that is not who I see,” he whispered.

“I don’t believe what you see.”

“I know you don’t.”

As bizarre as it was, we fell into a comfortable silence, me buck-naked, him bare-chested, hugging me around my middle, our gazes locked in the mirror. And then it dawned on me, the whole time we’d been standing there his eyes had not roamed over my exposed breasts, they hadn’t gone lower either. They stayed on my face—the whole damn time.

Alec leaned forward and placed a kiss on my shoulder before he stepped back and grabbed my hand. Wordlessly he walked us to his bed. I got on, his pants came off, and he stood there looking down at me.

“Few things,” he muttered strangely. His hands went to my ankles and gently started spreading my legs apart, making room for him to crawl between them. “I need you to know.”

Alec kissed my inner thigh, sending a jolt of excitement straight between my legs. He placed another kiss on the other side and that time I felt my pussy contract. Good Lord. I waited for him to finish whatever he was going to say, thinking he needed to do that quickly while I could still understand the spoken word because my mind was getting fuzzy.

Then his mouth was between my thighs and I lost all coherent thought as Alec’s tongue edged my opening, teasing me until I was insane with lust. I reached down and fisted his hair, shoving him to me as my hips surged up.

“More.”

Alec gave me more but just barely. His mouth was working between my legs making magic happen but he was holding back.

“Please, honey, I need more.”

He didn’t give me more. Instead he tore his mouth away, reared up and over me before he slammed his lips against mine. The kiss was wet and deep but all too short.

“I need you to taste what I taste, baby. How fucking sweet you are on my tongue.” Before I could recover from what his words did to me, his hand was moving between us. I felt the head of his dick at my entrance and he paused. “You on birth control?”

“Yeah.”

In one hard thrust, all the oxygen whooshed out of my lungs, leaving me breathless. I didn’t have time to catch my breath before he drove in again, this time harder.

“Need you to know what I feel. The inside of you is warm and soft. Can’t describe how good it feels,” he grunted. “Your pussy is so snug around my cock it feels like I’m being sucked back in every time I pull out. Sleek, wet, and tight. Fuck, Macy, swear to you, no one better.”

Alec had no idea how desperately I needed to hear all of that, even if it made me juvenile and silly, but my insecurities ran deep, and he was…well, Alec. Super sexy, perfect Alec.

“You are beautiful, inside and out, but no lie, Macy, you are gorgeous. Ass, tits, legs, your hair is fantastic. And straight up, no bullshit, your pussy feels like heaven. But more, me being inside you makes me feel alive.”

I really wanted to memorize all that he was saying. But I was having a hard time focusing on his words because through all of that, he’d been seriously fucking me. Not slow and gentle strokes, he was driving his dick in so deep I was amazed he could speak.

“Hard, honey.”