Page 52 of Chasin’s Surrender

He wanted Genevieve to wash him clean of the memories.

Of all the bitterness.

And in return, he’d do the same for her.

He’d wash her clean, wrap himself around her dreams, but they wouldn’t be about loneliness.

He was spellbound.

Riveted, awestruck, and fully in love.

16

The last few days had been weird.

Strange and weird.

And I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Bobby told me I was over-thinking things, which I tended to do, but I couldn’t stop thinking. For two days, Chasin had been in my face, poking and prodding. Then we came to the farm and…nothing. It’s like he wasn’t Chasin.

Kennedy came over with her beautiful German Shepherd, Tank. We walked around the farm and picked berries from the bushes she found by the barn—by the way, I was in love with that barn. Unfortunately me being who I was when I wasn’t pretending to be the bold and brash Vivi, which was pretty much a dork therefore I very loudly verbalized my love for the barn and how it would be a perfect recording studio.

I’d even gone as far as vocalizing how I’d remodel it. Bobby saw my vision, thought it was inspired, and joined in. By the time we were done, there was a lounge, a bar complete with beer taps in the downstairs area, and a booth and recording area upstairs in the loft.

Of course, Holden’s cool-as-shit silver Airstream parked a few yards away from the old milking parlor only added to the coolness factor of the area. I pointed that out, too.

Then Bobby and I waxed poetic about how badass it would be to build a bonfire and have a jam session outside the barn. Of course, Kennedy jumped on that bandwagon and agreed, adding that it would be kick-ass for me to invite other singers and have an old-school MTV Unplugged-style show. She even went so far as to name my make-believe studio The Farm. To which I shouted, “That would be awesome!”

Unfortunately, Chasin and Holden were both there to witness my craziness. And since then, Chasin had not been Chasin.

Then there was last night during dinner when I reminded Bobby to remind me to call my real estate agent so I could get my house on the market. I was never going back there, not even to pack it up. She understood why and told me she’d find movers to pack the house. I asked her to hold off.

I needed to think about what was in that house and what I wanted. Other than what was in my studio and my personal effects, I didn’t think I wanted the furniture. I hadn’t picked out anything in that house. Leslie had arranged for an interior designer to kit the place out. I couldn’t say it was horrible, but it wasn’t my taste. Bobby agreed.

Nixon Swagger’s farm was cool. I wanted it. But I’d never offend the man by asking him to sell it to me, because it meant something to him.

In the meantime, Chasin had been giving me space. He said I had songs to write and he had a stalker to find. So he was on the phone a lot, at his computer a lot, but he didn’t leave the house to go into the office. And I hadn’t left the property either, but I’d gone for walks every day.

The only good thing about Chasin giving me the cold shoulder was I’d written two songs. Apparently, fresh air and uncertainty made me reflective and fueled my creativity.

But now I was over it.

It wasn’t lost on me that for two weeks, I wanted nothing to do with Chasin—after a weekend wanting everything from him. Now I was back to wanting something and he didn’t seem to want anything from me.

Are we all confused yet?

I sure as hell was. But this wasn’t a classic case of wanting what I couldn’t have. As I said, it was weird and strange. There’d been no more pushy, demanding talks. He was generous with information, and not just with me, with Bobby, too. She could be intrusive and ask personal questions and Chasin had answered them. She was not shy about how much she liked Chasin, which meant she showed him in a lot of ways how perfect she thought he was. She’d even taking to saying, “You’re perfect.” Every time she said it, he chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

I knew he’d been in the Navy and had been a SEAL. He grew up in Ohio and hated it there. Bobby asked if that was why he joined the Navy and he’d answered in the affirmative. He was a three-season athlete in high school. Football in the fall, swimming in the winter, and baseball in spring. He’d admitted he was ‘good’ but I figured he was downplaying that and he was really great at sports. He sounded popular and well-liked.

He touched on the topic of his one long-term girlfriend. She sounded like a bitch, at least that was what I told myself. He ended things because she cheated. He had no proof it was the physical kind, but the sneaking around, secret texting, and meeting up for drinks was enough for him to end things. Surprisingly that didn’t bring up bad feelings about what had happened between the two of us. Instead, it made me realize how deep his mother’s cheating had scarred him. And that was saying something considering I had firsthand, heartbreaking experience with his issues.

Listening to him tell the story, I knew it was about cheating but it wasn’t, it was about trust and loyalty. Two things I, myself, had hang-ups about. I knew to my soul what it was like to have people lie and steal from you.

So over the last few days, I’d gotten to know Chasin. He’d also gotten to know me. He didn’t ask about my music career other than to ask how it got started. And when I caught him looking up Vivi Rush on the internet and jotting down notes about my last tour, watching videos of the concerts my fans posted online, reading fan forums, I confronted him about why he didn’t just ask me.

Typical Chasin—he didn’t mince words when he said, “Because this shit”—he pointed to his laptop—“isn’t about you. It’s about how your fans react to Vivi, what they say. You wanna tell me how you, Genevieve, feel about this, I’ll listen. When I need to know something about Genevieve, I’ll ask you. But right now, I’m digging into Vivi Rush, the country music phenomenon. And just to say, woman, I don’t like country music, but this shit is good. I know you’re putting on an act when you get on that stage, but, goddamn, Genevieve, your ass can strut. Vivi or Genevieve, you light up and rock the house. Damn impressive.”