Page 55 of Chasin’s Surrender

Yep. Danger.

My mind was screaming to lie.

I watched as he traced the words inked on my skin. Words I’d marked on my body in haste in an effort to protect myself. I had very few regrets in my life, I chose to view my mistakes as opportunities to grow. But now, looking at the tattoo, I regretted it.

“Evie?” he prompted.

Lie.

Just lie.

“You said that to me.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, the vibe in the room went scary electric. Something big had changed. No, something huge was at play and it freaked me out.

So much for lying.

“Come again?” Chasin’s gaze left my tattoo, and when I lifted my head, our eyes locked.

His eyes were blazing. And not in the sexy, hungry way I’d seen. No, stupid me had told him the truth and made his eyes burn so bright I was afraid the scorch would blister and scar.

“‘But it’s not me.’ You said that to me right before you left.”

“Baby.” Two tortured syllables.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

“I got it so I’d never forget I’d given up.”

“Given up what?”

“My dream.” My eyes drifted closed, shutting out Chasin. I didn’t want to witness his disappointment when he figured out I wasn’t the woman he thought I was. “I’m an imposter. Everything’s fake. I walk in a room and I hold my breath, waiting for everyone to finally realize I don’t belong. I go to award shows and I’m filled with panic because one day someone’s gonna point at me and ask what I’m doing there. So I try to fade away, blend in. I do everything I can to hide. But deep down I want someone to see me.

“Then I met you and I thought finally, fucking finally, someone sees me. Just me, the real me. I’ve never been lucky, not in my whole life. But spending the weekend with you, I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world. I thought I’d found the man who would see me. But I was wrong and that was the final break that crushed my dream. If you couldn’t see me, then I knew no one ever would. So I gave up my dream and got the tattoo so I wouldn’t ever forget how bad it hurt.”

My heart was pounding so hard against my ribs I shook to the beat. I wanted to run and hide and pretend I hadn’t laid myself bare.

Why had I laid myself bare?

Why couldn’t I have made up a lie?

It would’ve been easy, he would never have known. Until he heard the song. But I could’ve trashed that, too. It’s not like he would’ve ever remembered what he’d said to me.

“But it’s not me who’s gonna fuck you,” he whispered.

Welp, there it was, my life sucked. I couldn’t even get lucky and have Chasin have a shitty memory. Nope, he had to remember the exact words he said to me.

Though, it made my decision to tell the truth the right one.

“Open your eyes, Evie.” Another deceptively soft demand.

Slowly, my lids opened, and when he came into focus, what I found was so painful I wanted to screw my eyes closed and never open them again.

“I fucked up,” he admitted. “I knew it, but I didn’t know how bad. I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Evie. You’re right, I didn’t see you. But you’re also wrong. I did more than just see you, I felt you. Two days, that’s what we shared. And in those two days, I fell for you. You were sleeping in my arms and I was imagining our future. I was living a fantasy that had long ago died. Never thought I’d find a woman who was worth the effort for me to find a way to get over the baggage my twat of a mother left me with. But there I was, lying in bed with you wrapped around me and I knew I had to find a way to unload it. Be the man you deserved. In two days, I fell in love with you and it took me two seconds to throw it away and kill your dream. I’m a complete dick.”

Chasin stopped speaking. My mind raced, unable to process half of what he said because the only thing that was bouncing around in my head was that he’d fallen in love with me. But I wasn’t sure if that was still the case, and life had taught me never to assume. The people who said they loved you could walk away at any moment.

So I was holding my breath, not wanting to breathe and lose this moment.