Page 12 of Holden’s Resurrection

It was the most fucked-up thing anyone had ever done to him.

Fucked-up in ways none of the others could ever understand. Holden knew things the others didn’t.

A funny thing happens when someone dies, especially when that person dies a hero—suddenly all of their transgressions vanished. All the shitty things they’d done while they walked this earth were wiped clean and they were held in high regard. No one wanted to speak ill of the dead, but Paul had been a dick while he was alive.

Not just for what he’d done to Holden, but what he’d done to Charleigh. Paul Towler was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. And for years, Holden had bit his tongue every time he heard what a great man Paul had been. Bile churned in his gut when people talked about what a great father he would’ve been. He wasn’t great at anything but being an obsessive prick who’d fixated on Charleigh and waited until she was at her most vulnerable to strike. And the worst part was that Holden had played right into Paul’s hands. It had been Holden who’d brought Leigh-Leigh low, giving Paul the perfect opportunity to take advantage of her. Then he’d fucked up again when Leigh-Leigh came to him and told him she was pregnant.

Holden swayed as the guilt and self-disgust rocked him.

He’d let his pride, ego, and doubt override his love for her. He should’ve calmly told her the truth. Instead, he’d turned her away and sent her straight to Paul.

Such a dumb fuck.

Now he’d never know if he and Charleigh could’ve made it through. He’d never know if his love for Charleigh was so deep he could’ve raised another man’s child. Instead of taking the time he should’ve, he’d burned his world to ashes.

“Did you know that Chasin’s named in the lawsuit? The Towlers are claiming Charleigh and Chasin were having an affair behind Paul’s back,” Bobby went on.

“Evie has nothing to worry about. That never happened. Chasin and Charleigh were friends. Those pictures are not what they seem.”

“She knows that. And that’s not why she doesn’t like her. She’s worried about you.”

Not wanting to have this conversation while sitting in bed, Holden stood.

“Evie has better things to do than worry about me. All of you do. I’m fine. And she shouldn’t hate Charleigh.” It was time to end all this division. “What happened was a long time ago. It was my fault and it’s way past time everyone moves on.”

“I don’t think Charleigh can move on,” Bobby quietly told him. “I understand why Evie’s taken your side; the two of you are close. She’s insanely protective over those she loves. To her, Charleigh’s an outsider who causes you pain. But she’s torn because she likes Faith.”

Punch to the throat.

Knife to the heart.

Everyone enjoyed being around Faith because she was a sweet, polite kid who always seemed to have a smile.

“Holden, I hate to tell you this, but I don’t think you can move on, either.”

“Trust me, I’ve moved on.”

Bobby’s hands went to her hips and her eyes narrowed. For a short little thing, she could be seriously scary. When the woman was pissed, it was best to get out of her way and let her burn it out.

“Why are men so dumb?”

“I feel like that’s a trick question.”

Her eyes narrowed further. “It’s not. It’s a rhetorical question. I wasn’t looking for an answer because there is none. Your definition of moving on is sexing up every woman you can find. That’s not moving on. That’s fucking away your cares. And by the by, Holden, most women don’t like to be bedded and have the man bedding them thinking about another woman while they’re doing the deed.”

Well, Bobby was right about one thing, he had spent years trying to fuck his cares away. However, it didn’t work. Nothing did. Not time, not war, not moving to a different state, not his work, nothing. Charleigh was never far from his thoughts. Charleigh and Faith.

Years and years of guilt had piled so high he was ready to collapse. The weight had compounded and multiplied until he was under maximum load and the ground beneath his feet had crumbled away, leaving him in constant freefall.

“I wasn’t trying—”

“Save it. That’s exactly what you were doing. Why’d you leave her?”

Holden snapped straight and shook his head.

“Bobby, it’s cool of you to care. You know I love you, but you need to back off.”

She seemed to consider his words, then in true Bobby fashion, decided to plow ahead.