Page 24 of Jonny’s Redemption

Time’s come, someone needs to shield him and that’s gonna be you, child.

Miss Lola was right—it was going to be me. I was going to be Jonny’s shield.

But she was also wrong, the Spencers didn’t sound like good, caring people. They certainly hadn’t been good to Jonny. If they’d pulled the wool over Miss Lola’s eyes, who had lived in Cliff City a good long while, and God love her but she was a nosy old bitty and so were her cronies. If there was gossip to be had, she’d know it. But she didn’t know Doug was Calvin’s blood. She didn’t know Calvin was a cheat and Anita had a drinking problem. Cliff City was small—hell, the whole county was small—people talked, and they’d certainly talk about that. And no one had because they didn’t know, and they didn’t know because Jonny had kept the secret. He didn’t keep that secret because he was embarrassed or wanted to keep it, he’d been forced to.

Assholes.

Jonny was the shield.

Every day he’d put on his white hat and served the community. He went to work doing the job he was born to do. Jonny was a protector. A shield. That was who he was.

And now, I was going to be his.

“My mom left me,” I spat. “She didn’t die, she didn’t move a town over and see me on weekends, or holidays, or call, or write. One day she said she was going to the store and she never came back. I was five, Jonny, but I remember. It was January in Kentucky, colder than a witch’s tit, snow on the ground, and the fire was running low. EJ was seven and hadn’t turned lazy asshole yet. He tried to put on another log and burned his hand. We waited and waited and she never came back. Elmer was out on a fishin’ trip, didn’t come home for two days. So me and EJ waited for him, too. Five and seven, two days alone in a rundown shack of a house, no food, and freezing cold. That’s what I remember, not that I was hungry or scared or didn’t know where my parents were, I was cold.”

Jonny’s gaze softened and I knew he felt my words but he was missing my point.

“I have that in me, Jonny. My mom abandoned me while my daddy was out fishin’. I come from criminals, cons, liars, and cheats. All that’s in me, too. So by your way of thinking, I’ll never be nothin’ different since I have that in me.”

“No, baby, that’s not what I’m saying.” Jonny made his way to me and stopped.

He lifted his hand but dropped it before he touched me. The pain of it sliced through me.

“Then what are you saying?”

I watched up close as a myriad of emotions played across Jonny’s face. I’d known him a while and in that time—since I’d fallen mostly in love with him the moment I met him and continued to fall every day since then—I’d watched him a lot. I’d seen him look murderous; that was when he saw me after I’d been attacked by Evie’s stalker when I’d woken up in the hospital. I’d seen him look at Rory and Caleb with a sadness I hadn’t understood until now. I’d also seen him happy, in pain, and angry. But right then I couldn’t read his expression and it worried me.

“I’m scared,” he muttered.

“What?”

My Jonny didn’t get scared.

“I’m scared,” he repeated and I wondered how much that took out of him to admit.

“What are you scared of, Jonny?”

“Of failing.”

God, Jonny.

Big, strong, brave Jonny afraid of failing. There was something so wrong about that it made my stomach clench. It also made me irate.

“I don’t know how to make you see what everyone else sees,” I started and reached for his hands. Once I had our fingers laced, I went on. “I don’t know how to make you believe me when I tell you you’re the best man I know. You’re a good friend, a good uncle, a good cop, and even after what they did you’re still a good son. I’ve never known you to fail at anything. But I also know fear is irrational and there’s nothing I can say to ease your worry. So I’ll have to show you.”

“Don’t let me hurt you.”

God, Jonny.

Tortured.

“You will, honey. You’re gonna hurt me and I’m gonna hurt you. And when you do I’m gonna stand by your side.”

“Bobby—”

“I love you.”

Jonny’s hands in mine twitched and his eyes went alert but not guarded. I took that as a good sign—not great, but good. A start.