Page 27 of Nightstalker

***

I must’ve paced this fucking kitchen a hundred times; I was no closer to composing myself. As a matter of fact, the longer I was away from Jasmin, the more pissed off I got. Visions of those pieces of shit punching Jasmin while she was strung up by her tied arms had my blood boiling. Nightmares! Fuck me, she was having nightmares about a time she was not supposed to remember. God dammit!

“Are you going to stand in the shadows all night Eric?” I clocked him the moment I stepped foot off the bottom stair.

“Just thought I’d give you time, brother,” he replied. The normal joking tone was out of his voice.

“You know she has nightmares?”

“Hard to miss when we’re out on a mission. But Jas doesn’t share much. She never talks about it and we pretend we don’t hear.” He shook his head.

“Mother Fuck!” I needed to calm my ass down and get back upstairs to my woman.

“She good?” Eric took another pull from his beer and stood up, walking into the kitchen where I was still pacing.

“No, but she will be. You good?” I now saw what Zane was talking about, why he was so worried about Eric. His eyes held nothing but pain, “You know there was not one single, fucking thing you could have done differently. What those animals did is not on you, it never was.”

“Wish that was true. Glad you’re home, Linc. Go take care of your woman.” He slapped my shoulder.

“We’re going to have to tell her,” I said to his back as he walked towards the back door.

“I know.” The door clicked shut behind him.

I grabbed a bottle of water and headed for the stairs. I needed Jasmin back in my arms I needed to feel that she was alive and safe.

Opening the door as quietly as I could, I stepped back in the room to find Jasmin sitting up. She was leaning against the head board staring out the big picture windows in front of the bed. I slipped into bed next to and handed her the bottle of water. She took the bottle wordlessly, lost in her own thoughts.

“What’s going on in that head of yours baby?”

She blew out a breath and looked at me. The sadness and confusion clearly written all over her beautiful face.

“I am fucking tired of being weak. Two God damn years and I still cannot remember. I dream about it almost every night. It is right fucking there. I just cannot pull out the memories when I wake up. It feels like… I can’t explain what it feels like. I just need to remember.”

Fuck, I did not want to have this conversation now. I needed to find a way to shut this shit down quickly. This was neither the time nor the place to tell her, in the early dawn hours when she should be pressed against me enjoying the post sexual bliss. I was not prepared to lose her so soon after I finally got her back in my arms.

Pulling her down into me, I kissed her with all the passion, lust, and love I had for her. She needed a distraction from all the hurt and memories still plaguing her mind. She kissed me back with the same intensity. I could feel myself lengthening and hardening for her, my need growing by the second. Pushing my hard on onto her stomach she returned my fervor by thrusting her hips forward.

“You are the strongest woman I know, my warrior princess. I am going to fuck you long and slow, you’ll be so far gone with want, you’ll think of nothing but me.” I kissed her lips slow and hard.

“Yes, Lincoln,” she cried out when I tested her readiness.

***

The sun peeked in through the open curtains, making sleep impossible. Watching Jasmin sleep had very easily become my favorite diversion. I could pretend the outside world was not waiting just out that bedroom door. I could pretend that I was not going to destroy Jasmin. In these early morning hours, the calm before the preverbal storm, I just watched her sleep. Knowing these might be the last moments she would allow once she knew the truth. I regretted nothing. Everything we did was to protect Jasmin. She would not see it that way. She would see it as a betrayal.

Allowing myself one more small pleasure, I kissed her forehead before pulling the sheet up to cover her beautiful, nude body. Taking a mental picture, I made sure I would never forget this moment. Slipping out of bed, I found my clothes and dressed as quietly as I could, not wanting to wake her. There were conversations that needed to be had before she came down stairs.

Just one more touch. I stroked the soft skin around her neck. Fuck, I hoped she could forgive me. The thought of living without this woman gutted me.

She nuzzled my hand as I pulled away. “Love you, Ghost.” The words were barely audible, but I felt them in every part of my body from my heart and straight to my hardening dick.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I had to get the hell out of here; I needed to think all this shit through. The door closed with a click behind me and I practically ran down the stairs like the hounds of hell were nipping at my heels. That is what it felt like. I was in fucking purgatory. I waited to see if I would be drug back into hell or if Jasmin would take me to heaven.

“Shit, dude, the place on fire or something?” Leo asked as I passed by him on my way out back.

Not bothering to answer, I flipped him off. What the fuck was I going to say? That my insides were clawing their way out, that shit was so fucked up and I couldn’t make it right, that I had fallen in love with the one woman who would possibly kill me when she found out our secrets?

“FUCK!” My voice sounded gruff to my own ears, like a bear on the verge of mother fucking death.