Page 35 of Thaddeus

“Ended them? You mean you killed him?”

With my head held high I told him what he’d likely find if he read the report Zane Lewis had compiled.

“I did,” I confirmed.

I wasn’t ashamed for taking David’s life. His death had prevented a cargo container full of young women from leaving the port of Vancouver, destination Russia. David’s demise also freed his stable of prostitutes. So, no, I would never feel bad for taking a life so others could be free.

“How many?”

“How many what?”

“How many men have you killed?”

Yeah, that was not something I was admitting. I’d give him David Duncan because I knew Thad’s boss knew about him, but if that was the only indiscretion he’d found, I wouldn’t give them more. As it stood, if Zane turned what he’d unearthed over to the authorities I’d likely be facing jail time. If I was behind bars, that meant my sister would be out in the world all alone.

It was time to put a stop to this. I sucked in a breath, slowly let it out and when I did, I slipped back into my role of cold-heartless-bitch. Over the years I’d honed my craft and sharpened my knife. I was good at pretending.

“Sorry, chief, I don’t trust you enough to tell you where the bodies are buried. That is, if there were bodies, and I’m not telling you if there are. I think we’re done. We both have work to get to.”

Oh, yeah, I’d poked the bear. The big, huge grizzly bear and he was mad with a capital M.

“You know, I’ve seen a lot of fucked-up shit in my life. I’ve witnessed firsthand the evil people have in them. I know what a desperate human is capable of. But you take the cake. I never thought it was possible for a person to change as much as you have. The woman I loved, the woman I would’ve killed and died for…” Thad stopped and shook his head. “She is so far from the woman standing in front of me, it isn’t funny. The worst part? Had you turned to me and trusted that I could and would take care of you, your sister, and your family, you wouldn’t be the pitiless woman you’ve become. You’d be sitting pretty in a nice house with a husband who adored you, teaching first grade, and your only worry would be what trouble our kids were causing. Instead, you turned your back on us, and that’s bought you a life full shit.”

After he decimated me with his truths, he left.

Calmly walked out the door, leaving the scum he’d scraped off his boot behind.

Thad had the closure he needed. I saw it. The moment when he’d realized the woman he thought he loved wasn’t real. After all of these years, he was truly done. Now that he knew, he was free.

I should’ve been happy he had the answers he needed. But I wasn’t.

I admit over the last decade, I’d secretly believed that Thad still loved me. That we had some cosmic kind of love that could stretch miles and time. It was an unbreakable connection. I’d built a shrine and inked it on my skin. Indelible. That was the love I had for him, unforgettable.

Now I knew that love was one-sided. The weight of that knowledge was so heavy I had to sit down.

My dad had also told Autumn and me that sometimes the truth hurt and it was our job to take that hurt and learn from it. Grow from it. But what my dad failed to tell me, was that there were times that the truth just plain ol’ killed and there was no moving on from it.

This was one of those times. Thad spoke the truth. We’d been destined for a beautiful life until someone stepped in and stole it from us. Taken Autumn’s bright future and destroyed it. Twisted everything good in my sister into broken pieces.

That man, those people, all of them, needed to pay. That way, one day when I finally found Autumn, I could tell her she was free. Until that day came, I’d take Thad’s hatred for me and bottle it up. I’d use it as a reminder when hesitation and guilt took root. I’d remember the abhorrence in Thad’s gaze the next time I plunged my knife.

But for now, I was going to sit on the edge of a bed that was not mine, in a house nestled in the Venezuelan jungle that I didn’t want to be in, with the man I’d forever love hating me from the other room, and hang my head in shame.

My parents would die a thousand deaths if they’d known what I’d become. I hadn’t seen them in over five years, hadn’t spoken to them in over three. I couldn’t face them again, not until I had Autumn. One day, I’d make it right. One day I’d find my sister, finish my degree, and teach first grade.

One day.

Alone.

* * *

A long time had passed by the time I’d pulled myself together enough to face Thad and his team. When I made my way into the living room where everyone was gathered, all conversation ceased.

It was an uncomfortable feeling, being on the receiving end of everyone’s stare. Everyone but Thad. He hadn’t lifted his eyes from the piece of paper he was reading.

“Sorry,” I unnecessarily apologized, mostly out of manners and less so because I was actually sorry about making them wait. “I’m ready when you are.”

“Why don’t you just start at the beginning,” Declan suggested.