Page 75 of Thaddeus

“You ready, Emmy?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

The way she looked at me, I had a suspicion she knew what I was asking and it wasn’t whether or not her bags were packed.

Emerson

Was I ready?

I knew what Thaddeus was asking. I saw it in the way he looked at me.

Last night after our scary talk about his job, I’d fallen asleep with my head on his shoulder, my arm resting on his stomach, and his hand on my hip.

It was comfortable.

It felt like old times.

It was terrifying.

This morning I’d woken up in the same position I’d fallen asleep. Thad had commenced a make-out session that left my toes curling, an ache growing, and then left me frustrated when he announced it was time to get up.

That was not comfortable.

It wasn’t like old times.

It was still terrifying but in a different way. I wanted him to take things further but he refused, even after I asked straight out. He’d told me he wanted to wait until my head was sorted and we were on firm ground. His plan was sound—however, the space between my legs begged to differ.

The thing about Thaddeus was not only was he the sexiest man I’d ever laid eyes on, but he was good in bed. He was good with his hands, better with his mouth, and there was no way to ever forget how magnificent he was with his dick.

I wanted to have sex with him and whatever that said about me, I didn’t care. I’d spent ten years without the feel of him and I didn’t want to wait another day.

But he was resolute and rolled us out of bed, put me in the shower, kissed me some more, his soapy hands roamed, then that was it. Full stop. He wouldn’t allow me to wash him below the waist. It was frustrating as hell.

We’d eaten breakfast, Declan had cooked. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, then Thad told me he had shit to do and he’d be a few hours. I took that as my cue to exit and I’d been right. The team started talking about Jefferson’s property in Manicore and I wandered upstairs.

I was surprised when Tatiana followed me. She was a member of the team and I figured she’d be in on whatever conversation the guys were having. When we made it upstairs, she invited me in her and Brooks’ room for a chat and explained she’d be staying back with me while the men went hunting.

I’d thought it was a weird thing to say, but the more I’d thought about it the more I understood. They were going hunting, not for a wild boar or a game animal, but for the human variety of animal.

It had taken under ten minutes for us to form a fast friendship. Yesterday, I’d been right, she was funny and open. But it wasn’t until she opened up to me about how she’d met Brooks and the team, I could add brave and awesome to that list.

I’d fought back tears as she told me she’d been taken prisoner during one of her missions and had been severely tortured. That was before she’d met Brooks, and the scars she bore from that time had held her back from wanting to open herself up again.

Tatiana had also told me that Brooks had refused to give up on her and pushed her to her limits until she finally snapped. I loved that he was the kind of man he was—that he could love Tatiana so deeply she’d found the acceptance she needed. Not from him, but she finally accepted herself. She was both beautiful on the outside and the inside.

After she shared, I shared. I’d spilled my guts.

From the first time I’d met Thaddeus, how good we’d been together, to me leaving, my resentment toward Autumn, why I got my tattoo, what I’d been doing for eight years, how I’d done it, and everything in-between. She knew everything.

When I was done, she stared at me for a moment before a tear slid down her cheek and she told me to grab onto Thad with both hands and never let go. I hadn’t taken her for one to romanticize a situation, but she’d proclaimed that was the saddest story she’d ever heard and she was so happy we’d found each other again.

She was right, it was sad. But I hadn’t been convinced I should hold on with both hands. I was thinking more along the lines of one hand—using the other to keep Thaddeus at a distance, so when my heart broke there’d be something left of me.

But then, I’d thought about what had happened to her. What she’d gone through before she’d met Brooks and how she’d almost died trying to save the man she loved. I knew she was right.

It was all or nothing. Thaddeus deserved that.

He’d asked one thing from me. No stipulations. No games. No resentment. No going back in time.