Page 39 of Recovering Ivy

“I don’t want to drop it, Zane,” she mocked. “Tell me what you meant about proving me right. Then move on to why you think your head is fucked up.”

Why the hell wouldn’t she let it drop? No good could come from us talking. This was the exact reason I had a no breakfast rule. Women couldn’t stop themselves from wanting to talk, ask questions, dig into a man’s personal life, and try to fix him. I had news for her; I was not fixable.

We stood staring at each other, both of us stubborn and unmoving. Her gaze drifted south and with her eyes glued to my cock she asked, “Do you not want to fuck me?”

“Oh, I want to fuck you alright. Fuck the hell out of you, actually. Until you’re too exhausted to ask any more annoying questions.”

“What are you waiting for?”

“I’m not touching you,” I told her.

“Why?” she pushed.

“Because I have no doubt if I fuck you, you’ll twist it around in your head and by the next morning you’ll use it to condemn me. You’ll think the only reason I’m offering you my help is so I can fuck you. So, no, Ivy, I won’t be that guy, the one who proves that any offer of kindness comes with a cost. My protection is free and my cock is not for sale. I don’t barter with sex.”

“And the fucked up in the head part?”

“Christ, woman. Leave it!”

“No, Zane. Tell me.”

“Goddamn, you’re pushy.”

“So I’ve been told.” She threw my words back at me. “Tell me!”

She’d finally pushed me to my limit, and I let my temper get the best of me.

“Do you have any idea what I do for a living?” She shook her head and I continued. “I’m a paid assassin. Any idea what that means?” She shook her head again. “I get paid ungodly amounts of money to kill people. You wanna know how I afford the fancy office, the cars, motorcycles, penthouse? All with the money I earn killing. Everything you see was bought and paid for with blood money. The blood of the enemy and the blood of good men who have died while by my side in battle. All of this, Ivy, is dirty. My soul has more hash marks on it than I care to explain. I’ve tortured men for information. I’ve beaten, stabbed, and shot more enemy combatants than I can remember. There is no atonement for a man like me. There’s no redemption or penitence I can pay to salvage my humanity.” I waited for her to open her eyes before I continued. “Do you really want a man like me to touch you? I don’t deserve an ounce of what you have to offer.”

The next thing I knew, Ivy had launched herself at me, forcing me to catch her as her legs wrapped around my waist. I stumbled back from the impact and the back of my legs touched the bed. Her lips were on mine in a brutal kiss and any protest died in my throat. Her tongue swept my lips and pushed in my mouth. Without any thought of the repercussions, I took over. My hands on her ass, I squeezed and kneaded the firm muscle under my palms. The material of her tank top was being pulled up and she broke the kiss long enough to tug it over her head and toss it aside.

Before I could resume the kiss, she whispered against my mouth, “Fuck me.”

In a moment of extreme arousal and shock, I stood motionless. Ivy rocked forward, her weight causing me to fall back onto the bed, her hands pawed at my chest, her nails scraping my skin like ten tiny sharp knives. The pain pulled me from my fog. I had to stop this. She wasn’t thinking straight.

“Stop, Ivy. This isn’t what you want,” I told her.

“Don’t tell me what I want. I know what I want, and you want it, too. You’re just too fucking stubborn to take it. I’m offering myself to you. Don’t let some stupid assumption deny us both what we need.”

She needed me like she needed a hole in the head. In the end, I would only hurt her.

“I’m not the forever type of man,” I warned.

“That’s great. I don’t believe in forever. I want right now. I want you to fuck me until I forget every jacked up thing in my life. I want to feel this – just you and me. Nothing else.”

Her hand snaked between us and she slowly stroked my cock. My head fell back against the bed as her small, soft hand worked its magic.

“Fuck, baby.” I was going to give in. I was too damn pathetic when it came to her. I very easily could’ve set her off me and put a stop to the madness, only with her hand on my cock I couldn’t think of a single reason this was a bad idea.

“Please fuck me,” she begged.

She hovered over me, my cock in her hand, her pussy mere inches above it, and all rational thought flew out the window.

“Ride me,” I demanded.

Ivy pushed the loose-fitting shorts to the side and guided me to her opening. The first touch was glorious. The head of my cock met the silky wetness of her pussy and it sent waves of excitement through my body. She sank down and liquid heat wrapped around my cock.

“Zane,” she moaned.