Page 55 of Recovering Ivy

“Here’s my theory,” Declan started. “I’ve been thinking about what Amy told us. I don’t think he’s fucking all of them. I think he’s using them to run his drugs.”

“I agree. I read the SITREPS when I got in this morning. Amy doesn’t fuck him, and she said he only picks women he can blackmail, women who have something to protect. He also knew about Ivy,” Linc added.

“Sarah Long made an appearance yesterday. She had a lot to say; one of those things was Forester had wanted Ivy but Sarah gave him Joanna instead.” I filled them in.

“After you called yesterday, I ran Sarah’s bank account and phone records, neither of which she had until two years ago,” Garrett said and put a stack of papers on the table. “Almost daily phone calls between Sarah and Forester as well as monthly deposits into her account.”

“Fucking bitch. She did sell Joanna.”

Goddamn, what was wrong with this woman? She’d broken and abused Ivy all her life and pimped her stepdaughter out as a prostitute. Was there nothing she wasn’t capable of?

“Seems that way. Cheap, too, five grand a month. The payment stopped this month. I assume that’s why she made an appearance,” Garrett finished.

“Maybe. Sarah did say she wouldn’t let Ivy fuck this up for her and to mind her own business. Forester may be ready to break ties with Sarah and move on. The money will end. Sarah was adamant that Ivy back off. She’s desperate and scrambling.”

“It took some digging, but I found a small warehouse Forester rents. He set up a dummy corporation in Delaware. No money runs through it.” Garrett had been busy reminding me why I’d snatched him from the Navy before he could re-enlist. He wasn’t cheap, but the buyout of his enlistment bonus and doubling what the Navy had paid him had proved to be priceless.

“Declan, you’re with me. Linc and Garrett, run down any credit cards Forester has and see if we can trace the backpacks. I’d like everything in a nice bow for the Feds so they can’t fuck this up. No stone unturned.”

“Copy,” Garrett answered and stood, making his way to the door, Declan following behind him.

“Jaxon, stay on Amy today. Leo, I need you to dig and find what we need to lock up Sarah Long before I kill the bitch and go down for murder.”

Both men nodded their agreement and exited the room.

“I need a minute before you and Dec leave. I’ll wait for you in your office,” Colin told me, leaving me with Linc and Jasmin. Both of them looked like they had something to say. My brother more so than my sister-in-law. I took in Jasmin’s growing belly and visions of Ivy round with my child filled my mind. Never, not once in my life, had I thought about having children. I knew too much, I’d done too many horrible things. I had never entertained the idea of bringing a kid into my fucked-up world. But then again, I never thought I’d find Ivy.

“When does your doctor want you on maternity leave?” I asked.

“Now,” Lincoln answered.

“He said I should continue to work and stay as active as I can for as long as I can,” Jasmin corrected.

“You’re officially in-house only,” I told her.

“But..”

“No buts. You’ll help Garrett or nothing.” I now understood why Linc had gone crazy. If Ivy was nearly seven months pregnant with my baby, I’d tie her ass to the bed and make her stay still. Never would I allow her on a case.

“Fine,” she huffed and stood. “I take back what I said about being happy for you. I hope you suffer from impotence and you can’t get your dick hard. Jerk.”

Lincoln laughed at his wife’s outburst and I frowned. The thought of my cock not working was a downright travesty. It would be torture having Ivy in bed next to me and not being able to fuck her. Not to mention not having her beautiful lips wrapped around my cock while I throat fucked her. Christ, I’d rather poke my eyeballs out with toothpicks than not experience another one of her blowjobs. When Ivy said she had skills, she meant she had skills. Holy fuck, could the woman suck a boulder through a straw. Couple that with no gag reflex; she swallowed my cock like a goddamn pro. Some men said there was no such thing as a bad blowjob. They were lying. There is such a thing. I’ve had plenty of bad ones. Ivy knew exactly how to drive me crazy. I’d never had the pleasure of actually unloading in a woman’s throat before; not her mouth, but throat. The sensation was different, but what made it a hundred times better was knowing it was Ivy.

She made everything exceedingly more pleasurable.

“It’s good to see you happy,” Linc said.

I thought about what he said. Was I happy? Was this what happiness felt like?

“I don’t deserve her.”

“Don’t go there, Zane,” he warned.

“I’m not saying I’m not taking my shot. I am. I’m fucking keeping her. But I know I don’t deserve to feel any happiness when, because of me, so many no longer have the chance to have it.”

“You’re un-fucking-believable. Do you really have that big of a God complex you think you could’ve changed the outcome of their deaths?” Linc zeroed in on my guilt. “Do you think Eric would begrudge you happiness? He fucking died so you could find it. Don’t ever forget that. Eric gave his life so I could live to see my children come into this world, so Leo could see his child born, Declan could get to know his sister, so Jaxon could save Violet, and so you, you fucking prick, could finally let go of the past and find peace in this life. The men and women you’ve led into battle followed you not because they wanted to hide behind the blanket of protection you provide, but because they wanted to serve beside you, not behind you. I’ve placed my life in your hands while on a mission and you’ve placed yours in mine. It is a two-way street. You’re a good man, a great leader. But you, brother, are not God, and you do not have the almighty power to supersede death. To think you have that kind of control is dangerous.”

After Lincoln was done laying me out, hitting me square in the gut, and knocking the wind out of me, I considered what he said. Ivy had said something similar. I knew I wasn’t God, and I couldn’t control everything, but by the same token I did have my men’s lives in my hands. That couldn’t be denied. I was the one who chose which missions we accepted and what role my men played. I took risks and asked the same of them. When one of them didn’t come home, it was on me.