Page 62 of Recovering Ivy

I thought about his question and tried to plan the best angle to approach Amy. He was right, her way of living would drastically change when we took down Forester.

“She can’t enjoy being a whore.” The growl that came from Declan took me by surprise. I hoped like hell it was simply an aversion to the word whore and nothing more.

“She doesn’t have a choice,” he ground out.

“We always have a choice, Dec.”

“Some people don’t,” he snapped.

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means sometimes we have to eat shit because there is no other option. Just because someone does something bad when their back is against a wall doesn’t make them a bad person.”

“And you think I don’t fucking know that?”

“Not everything is black and white,” he murmured.

“I’m well acquainted with all the shades of gray. And if you’re talking about what Violet did, it’s in the past. Your sister did what she had to do.”

“I’m not talking about my sister.”

Shit. I didn’t make it a habit of prying into my team’s personal life, but something was obviously bothering Declan. He’d spent almost a year black, in deep cover. I knew from experience the way that could fuck with a man’s head. You’re expected to do and say things to blend in, most of which are morally incomprehensible.

“We all had to do shit while we were under we’re not proud of,” I told him.

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

Jaxon’s car came into view nearing the conversation to an end.

“I get that but…”

“You wanna talk about why you keep a drawer full of folded flags and spent bullet cartridges in your desk?”

My teeth started to ache my jaw was clenched so tight. “Copy. Loud and clear.”

“Right.”

I’d forgotten Declan saw the flags in my desk, my daily remember of the men I’d lost. Ten flags folded with military precision, all presented to me after I brought them home from places that would never make it in their service record. Each flag was used to drape the pine box I sat with during transport. Ten good men who would never come home.

“We need her to give up Forester and Illusions. I prefer not to have to go bad cop on her again. I know Jasmin thinks I get off on being an asshole, but I don’t enjoy making women cry.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Declan said and exited the car.

I watched him jog across the street and Jaxon got in my Rover, occupying Declan’s vacated seat.

“What did you guys find at the warehouse?” he asked.

“A whole lotta nothing. Pallets of backpacks and tennis balls.” I reached in the back seat and grabbed the plastic sleeve and handed it to Jaxon.

“What the hell?”

“Exactly. He’s not manufacturing or packaging there. It was empty.”

“Hopefully, Garrett will find something,” he said as he inspected the packaging. “You can buy these at any sporting goods store. Nothing special.”

“Declan seem off to you?” I asked, regretting my words as soon as they left my mouth.

“Look at you, all touchy-feely and shit. I don’t know what magical spell Ivy has you under, but it’s been hours since you’ve threatened to shoot someone. It must be working.”