Page 90 of Recovering Ivy

“You’re making a mistake,” Alabama continued once Olivia drug a pissed off Leo away.

“How do you know?” I bit off a little harsher than I intended.

“Because I see you. I know you.”

“And who am I? The piece of trash Zane needs to toss?”

“A survivor. I recognize you in myself. We’re the same.”

“That’s doubtful.”

I knew Alabama meant well, but she had no idea.

“My mama told me everyday she wished I wasn’t born. She beat me, she locked me in the closet, she told me never to speak. And before I met Christopher every person in my life had failed me; from the police to social workers. So, yes, Ivy, I know you. I see the sadness in your eyes. I watched you shut down when Zane approached. You’re getting ready to give up because you don’t think you’re worthy. You’re getting ready to walk away because Zane has in some way hurt your feelings, so you think it’s the end. It’s not. Don’t run.”

Okay. So maybe she did know me.

“She’s right,” Olivia added.

Damn little sneak came back.

“Matthew told me your mother had run you off the road and taken you. He wasn’t breaking confidence or gossiping. It was only told because we were getting ready to go to Christopher and Alabama’s cabin and the cell service sucked. He wanted to stay home in case you needed him.” Damn. I’d ruined their plans as well. “And I’m only telling you that so you’ll understand the gravity of the situation. Zane didn’t only have his team at his back, he had our guys as well. Tex called in every team he works with across the country. You had a Delta team on standby, Texas Rangers, FBI agents, cops, hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if some firefighters were in there, too. When Zane’s woman goes missing, great men rally around him. They have his back. It’s what they do. Who has your back?”

“We do,” Olivia answered for me. “You’re not alone anymore.”

“He won’t touch me,” I told them. “Sure, he cuddles me at night. He kisses my forehead or my cheek, but he won’t touch me. I tried to fight Lance the best I could. I swear it. Now Zane won’t touch me. He looks at me differently. He tells me he loves me with pity in his voice.”

Alabama pulled me into a hug and I finally let go of the tears I’d been holding in.

“He’s scared, Ivy. He feels like he let you down. Have you tried to talk to him?” Olivia asked.

“No. What am I gonna say? Why won’t you have sex with me?”

“Yes. That’s what you say. Then you knock him on the side of his hard head and make him talk to you.”

“And if he won’t?”

“Then you knock him on his ass until he does. Do you love him?”

“Of course I do.” Affronted, Olivia would ask.

“Then fight for him.”

“But if he…”

“Time for your big girl panties, Ivy. I’ve been with Matthew Wolf Steel a long time. Long enough to know that while he is the biggest, baddest, warfighter the Navy has ever trained, he’s still human. He still feels all the same emotions. He’s just better at locking them down. You need to lock every insecurity you have away and make him see you.”

Could I do that? Forget everything my mother had taught me and fight for Zane? I had to if I wanted my one shot at happiness. I had to fight like hell to pull Zane back to the present. The girls were right. I wasn’t a quitter and Zane needed me.

It was my turn to be strong.

“Thank you. All of you. Sorry I freaked out.”

“You didn’t. We’ve all been there. Come on, let’s go back to the table. I think we all need a drink. Except for Little Miss Preggo.” Caroline laughed.

As we made our way back to the table, Caroline nudged Alabama with her shoulder.

“I’m proud of you,” she murmured.