Page 65 of Kyle

“Why would you wonder that?”

“Maybe the trauma of our pasts is too great to overcome. Maybe we’re too damaged. I don’t know, I’ve always kept everyone at arm’s length. It’s easier than having to answer uncomfortable questions about your past. It’s safer to lock yourself away so no one can hurt you again. But honestly, I’ve never thought about what it does to the people who are trying to reach out. My friend, Evie, she tries, or maybe she used to. But I’d never open up. Kalee did, too, and I’d always redirect the conversation to something else. I wonder if they looked like the two of you do right now, every time I pushed them away.”

“How do we look?” Max pushed.

“Like you’re both hurt that Declan won’t reach out and allow you to be the friend he needs.”

“You’re right, we are. Hurt, that is. He doesn’t have to be the way he is. Neither do you, Anaya.” Max drained the last of his beer, shoved the footrest back in, and stood. “I’m hittin’ the sack. I’ll leave you two to it.”

Kyle waited until Max disappeared into his bedroom before he turned to me. “You ready for bed?”

Was I ready to sleep? Hell yeah. I was beat. Was I ready to go down into the basement with Kyle when he looked furious? Hell to the no.

“Are you mad at me?”

“Fuck no.”

“Then why do you look so pissed?”

“Because I’m trying to remind myself that the motherfucker who hit you is dead while at the same time I’m wondering if it’s possible for my buddy Tex to track down every person who’s ever done you wrong so I can put them to ground, too.”

Tingles started racing up my back. He was pissed-off on my behalf. I wasn’t sure anyone ever had been. Sure, I’d seen the FBI agents that rescued me look at me with detached pity. I’d seen social workers look at me with kindness. But they were overworked with huge caseloads, so I was merely a blip on their radar.

But no one had ever been angry for me.

I wordlessly reached for his empty bottle, and when he handed it to me, I stood. After tossing the empties in the trash I went back into the living room and found Kyle had moved to the basement door.

“You okay with what I said?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“You look scared, sweetheart.”

“I am,” I admitted, and Kyle flinched. “I’m scared because I promised myself when I was chained in that boat, I wouldn’t waste another chance. I’m scared because I’m going to open myself up to you and there’s a possibility you’re not gonna want me. But mostly I’m scared because what if you do, and I can’t give you what you need?”

Standing there in the living room, Kyle changed. It was something profound, something I didn’t ever want to forget. His mouth lowered to mine, but this time instead of a brush, he kissed me. I opened for him, and ever so gently, he glided his tongue against mine. It was slow and gentle. Exploratory. Way before I was ready, Kyle pulled back and kissed my forehead.

“What you just gave me was more than enough.”

“A kiss?” I whispered.

“No, not the kiss, though it was fuckin’ sweet. I was talking about your honesty. You opening up to me. All I need is a crack, Anaya, and I’ll crumble the rest.”

“It might be hard,” I admitted.

“Not afraid of a little hard work, sweetheart.”

“Might be more than a little hard.”

“Then let me amend. I’m not afraid of busting my ass to make sure you feel safe enough to keep giving me what you just did. I’m not afraid to put in the time and work if it means you’ll get what you need to heal and move on with your life. I’m not afraid to admit there’s something about you that makes me want things I never dreamed I’d want.”

It was crazy. Totally and completely insane that I felt the same way. I had never dreamed in a million years I’d desperately want someone to know me. The real me. The fear. The demons. All the shit I pushed down and was scared to deal with.

I wanted to tell him everything so I could finally shed the weight of my past and find the strength I needed to put it all behind me.

Chapter 20

It was by miracle Anaya’s ribs weren’t broken.