Page 79 of Kyle

But now that I had Kyle, and little Eric was in my arms, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking what it would be like to be a mother. I glanced down at his chubby baby cheeks and his face in peaceful slumber and I wondered if Kyle wanted one.

We’d never talked about it but he had talked about not wanting to travel as much for work because he was missing out on his friends starting families. I’d seen him with Linc and Jasmin’s twins and he was good with them, playful, sweet even.

We also hadn’t talked about me taking a new assignment with the Peace Corps and I was purposefully not checking my email because that would mean I wouldn’t be able to ignore the issue and it would need to be discussed. Something I was afraid to do. Something I was worried would be the shoe that dropped.

And not for the reasons I had originally thought. At first, I was worried Kyle would tell me he didn’t want me travelling to dangerous places and give me an ultimatum. Him or the Peace Corps. But over the last week I’d come to realize it was the opposite. What if he told me, or even encouraged me to go? What then? What would that mean? The whole situation was exhausting to think about so I didn’t. I pushed it out of my mind and stayed out of my email.

“The buy is set in Abercorn. It is a small village in Quebec. North of Richford, Vermont,” Zane stated, pulling me from my thoughts.

“And?” Declan inquired. “I’m sensing there’s an issue.”

“Garrett can’t pinpoint exfil with the girls. There are three options. Straight south down I-139 or there are two water crossings.”

Zane pointed to the map he’d laid out.

Abercorn was smack in the middle of two lakes that crossed into the US.

“Why would Garrett consider a water crossing when land would be easier?” Brooks asked. “Looks like it’s, what? Five miles?”

“Six point nine,” Zane corrected. “The reason is, there’s been chatter about boats. Me and Jax are out. I’m breaking up the rest of you into three, three-man teams. Linc, Colin, and Leo. Jasmin, Brooks, and Max. Thad, Kyle, and Declan. You’ll infil together, hopefully get there before the buy, shut that down, and be on your way home. If not, Linc, Colin, and Leo will take Lake Champlain to the west. Jas, Brooks, and Max will take I-139. And Thad, Kyle, and Dec will cover Lake Memphremagog to the east.”

“How many girls…”

Declan’s voice faded into white noise as realization dawned. Kyle was leaving. He was going on a mission and I’d be all alone. Over the years, I’d been alone a lot. I’d preferred it that way. It made it easier to live in the safety of my head. But now? Now my stomach churned. And instead of the normal butterflies I felt when I thought about Kyle, a hundred hornets were stinging me from the inside.

“No fucking way.” Kyle’s angry voice pulled me from my gloom.

“Christ,” Zane bit out. “Stop thinkin’ with your dick for thirty seconds. We need to get this shit done. Best case, you all are back in a few days. If the girls are smoke, it could take some time. Time we do not have. Ashaki reported—”

“Fuck, Ashaki,” Kyle sneered. “We still don’t know if she’s playin’ both sides.”

“Calculated risk,” Zane returned.

“Fuck that noise. Would you put your woman out there based on a calculated risk? Hell, no you wouldn’t. But you want Anaya and Emerson to swing in the wind. Hell to the motherfucking no.” Kyle’s growl brokered no argument.

Or at least I thought it hadn’t, but Zane felt differently. “Tex has vetted and confirmed all of Ashaki’s intel. It’s good. Emilio Ruiz refused to turn until his family was offered WITSEC. She made that happen. With Ruiz’s family safe, he’s spillin’ his guts. Emerson and Anaya are our best options.”

Best options? For what? Apparently, I’d spaced out longer than I’d thought.

“You know I’ll do anything you need me to do,” I said, even though I wasn’t sure what I was agreeing to.

“Anaya—”

“I thought you wanted Harry taken down?” I cut Kyle off.

“Not this way.”

“And what way is that?”

“The way where you and Emerson fly to Connecticut alone and interview Monica.”

Oh. That’s what I’d agreed to. Yeah, I wasn’t too keen on not having one of the men with us.

“They won’t be alone. Jeremy will be with them,” Zane cut in.

“Don’t fuckin’ like it one bit,” Thad added, and Kyle turned to his boss with a raised brow.

“I’ll call Myles and have him escort Emerson and Anaya to Connecticut. Once Jeremy has them, Myles is catchin’ a flight with his team. I cannot pull Blue off their mission. Garrett found a link with another Omni player and there’s an arms deal going down in Mexico. They have one shot to take it down.” Zane stopped and exhaled loudly. “I get it. I really fuckin’ do, but we need Anaya and Emerson. If we didn’t, I’d gladly lock their asses up at HQ with Tatiana and the rest of the women. But we need them, and you know it. Nothing left to do but pull your big boy pants up and deal with it.”