Page 9 of Kyle

“Thanks, the turbulence can get a little scary.” He shuddered then winked.

Now he was being cute and holy shit I didn’t think it was possible for a man who looked as big and tough as Kyle to ever be described as cute, but there he was, mock shuddering and winking. Totally cute.

“Just as long as your palms don’t sweat. If they do, you’re on your own, pal.”

“Noted.” His peal of laughter took me by surprise.

Kyle no longer looked cute, he looked downright sexy. And to make matters even weirder I couldn’t stop staring at the way the muscles in his neck were contracting, how his perfect, white teeth were on display, how his powerful body shook with hilarity. I also couldn’t deny the sound, the feel of him laughing had wreaked havoc on my girly bits. They were tingling and had woken up in a way I couldn’t ignore. It went beyond the wetness I’d felt between my legs and straight to need.

Thankfully the conversation flowed back to idle chitchat. Though it had taken awhile for me to get my head back into the conversation. But once I could concentrate again we’d mostly talked about food in different places around the world. We’d both traveled a lot. Him more than me, but he didn’t have time to explore like I had. There were some countries we’d had in common like Albania, Liberia, and Kosovo. But he’d been to more places in the Middle East than I had. And I’d been to more Eastern Europe and Asian countries than he had.

He was thoughtful when he spoke about other cultures and even though he’d been to these countries to fight a war, he didn’t paint the local countrymen with a broad brush. He was careful with his words and clear he was there to fight terrorism and radicals, not the innocent people trying to live their daily lives.

Kyle, however, had strong opinions about justice and protecting those who were unable to protect themselves.

I admired him and his resolve to stand up for those who couldn’t do it for themselves. His resolution hadn’t come from pity nor was it condescending. Kyle didn’t think he was better or stronger than those he’d dedicated himself to protecting, he knew he’d simply been born with more opportunity.

And that wasn’t sexy, it was sexy in an irresistible way that sucked so badly because in a few days I’d never seen him again.

“Tired?” he asked after I yawned for the second time.

“Sorry. I swear it’s the motion of the plane, not the company,” I told him. “I always sleep in cars and airplanes. Would you like me to switch seats with Declan so he can keep you company while I doze?”

I thought it was odd, though I hadn’t commented when we boarded that Declan’s assigned seat wasn’t near ours. Or that Kyle was sitting next to me and not his friend.

“Sleep, Anaya. You’ll need your rest. Once we land, it’s doubtful you’ll get much.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“For?”

“For the great conversation. These last few hours have been the first time I haven’t thought about Timor-Leste or what happened. Part of me feels guilty I forgot but the other part of me is so grateful for the reprieve.”

“It’ll get easier,” he told me. “The mind is a mysterious thing; it will heal if you give it time.”

I nodded and asked, “But does your soul ever heal?”

“That I don’t know,” he answered honestly and I appreciated his candor.

I was learning quickly that Kyle didn’t say shit just to say it and he certainly didn’t say things just to smooth over an uncomfortable question. It was refreshing in a way I never thought it would be, considering I’d spent most of my life hiding from those I cared about and those who cared about me. I wasn’t honest—I glossed over every uncomfortable question that had ever been asked. I had it down to a science and could move any conversation in any direction I wanted with practiced skill.

I lay my head back on the seat and closed my eyes, thinking about Kalee and the rebels. Would it ever get easier? Would my mind settle and stop playing an endless loop of that day and all the things I could’ve done differently? What if I hadn’t hidden? What if I’d gone with Kalee and Piper to the orphanage? Could I have helped them? Together could we have saved more than the three little girls Piper selflessly protected?

I didn’t think anything would ever heal my soul, but maybe if I could save some of the girls Amisha was abusing I could finally sleep at night.

Then I started thinking about how I needed to wise up. I couldn’t entertain fanciful thoughts about Kyle and his sexy laugh or powerful body. I couldn’t think about my body’s reaction to him. I couldn’t open up to him, I could never be honest the way he was. I couldn’t imagine, or want, or dream, about anything. That wasn’t my life. And Kyle didn’t need me unloading years’ worth of crazy on him.

He was a good man.

Too good for the likes of me.

* * *

I woke with a start. My head was resting on Kyle’s shoulder and my hand quickly went to my mouth praying I wasn’t drooling.

“I already wiped it off.” His voice rumbled with humor.

“Huh?”