Page 21 of Playing With Forever

I was a mother who loved and adored her children. I couldn’t imagine not wanting to spend time with my boys. Heck, even now that they were grown and living their lives, my heart ached to see them, to hear their voices over the phone. I lived for any time or communication they had to give me.

I understood where Evan was coming from, but in protecting his daughter, he’d deprived her of something she needed. And now I understood Lindy and the desperation I saw at dinner, the uncertainty when she’d asked me over to see her studio, and the shyness she’d exhibited today.

“Evan,” I whispered.

“Also very recently, that being last night and this afternoon, I see where I fucked up.”

“You didn’t mess up,” I rushed out. “You did what you did out of love and caution.”

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions,” he muttered. “I didn’t think about the damage I was doing. I was reacting out of fear.”

Yes, as I’d previously noted, Evan was a good father.

“I can’t say that part of me doesn’t want you for Lindy,” he admitted. “But I’m not that selfless, and while I love my daughter and I’d give up my life for her, the reasons why I want to explore what’s between us are entirely selfish. Straight up, Josie, you’re gorgeous, you’re phenomenal in bed, you’re a great kisser, and classy as fuck. That is, until I get my hands and mouth on you, then you go wild for me. I want more of what you gave me last Saturday night. I want to get to know you better because what I already know I like. I want my daughter to get to know you, and I trust you’ll handle her with care. Where you succeeded in teaching your sons how to love a woman, I’ve failed in teaching my daughter how a man is supposed to love and respect her. Don’t get that twisted, I’m not using you as some sort of lesson. But I’m being honest, Lindy factors into my every decision, so there it is. I need to get my head out of my ass, but until you, I wasn’t willing to put myself out there. Celeste didn’t only fuck up Lindy, she did a number on me, too. But more than that, I couldn’t trust Lindy’s well-being to anyone, that is, of course, until you.”

Until you, I wasn’t willing to put myself out there.

I couldn’t remember receiving a better compliment in my life, not just that he was willing to put himself out there to explore things with me, but also that he trusted me with his daughter.

For all my life, I’d been a planner. I weighed my options, I overthought every outcome. After my divorce, this overthinking became nearly paralyzing. I overanalyzed everything out of fear I’d miss the same signs Dameon had given.

But right then, I made a split-second decision.

“You can trust that no matter what happens between us, I will not disappear from Lindy’s life.”

I saw the relief in his hazel eyes, and since I was watching him closely, I also saw relief morph into something else—trepidation, maybe.

“Does that mean you wanna give this a shot with me and see where this goes?”

My heart pounded in my chest, my palms felt clammy, and my insecurities were working triple time to break free. But still, I wanted to get to know Evan Sanders better.

“One condition,” I told him.

“What’s that?”

“You promise me there will be no other women.”

Evan’s study of me became acute. I appreciated him taking time to consider my demand instead of immediately pacifying me with a promise.

“You have my word on that. That said, I’ll remind you I already told you, but it’s worth repeating, I don’t share either.”

He hadn’t said that, he’d said he’d lose his mind if I shared any-damn-thing with another man.

He gentled his voice when he went on, “I want to understand what you meant when you said you forgave your ex for being unfaithful once, but not when Lindy’s going to be back from the store any minute. That conversation will take place when I know I’ll have time to see to you after you share what your ex did.”

I liked that he didn’t want to have a rushed conversation about important things.

“There’s history with Celeste you’ll need to share, too,” I pointed out.

He nodded. “There is, and I’ll share it.”

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to smile or if the salad I’d eaten before I came over was going to make an appearance.

I was leaning toward the former, hoping the latter wouldn’t happen when Evan said, “We’re doing this.”

Indeed, we were doing this.

“Yes.”