Page 4 of Chasing Honor

“Thank you,” I whispered. “Thank you so much for her. Take care of yourself.”

The nurse was waiting by the door with a wheelchair. Hospital rules said I couldn’t walk out of the room with the baby. The staff knew our situation and had arranged for the baby and me to leave the room as soon as possible, moving us down the hall to a private room as far away from the Kriers as they could.

“Does she have a name?” the nurse asked.

“She does.”

“You’re not gonna tell me?” She laughed teasingly.

“I want to tell my mom first.”

The nurse patted my shoulder and wheeled us into the room. A few minutes later my family piled in, eager to meet the new addition.

My mom and dad stepped forward, and the tears I’d been trying to keep in check once again leaked from my eyes.

“Mom. Dad. I want you to meet my daughter, Carson Rose.”

1

Eight years later

“Yo, Ethan you headed to the bar with us tonight?” Officer Oscar Lorenz, my partner, asked.

“Nope. Got a date.”

“A date?” His eyes widened in shock. “You finally getting over your ten-year dry spell?”

“It hasn’t been ten years, fucker. And no. I’m taking Carson out for a movie and dinner.”

“You know, Maria and I would love to watch her if you’d like to go out. You know, on a date with a woman your own age.”

He’d been offering for the last three years. I appreciated the gesture, but I always turned them down I’d much rather spend time with my daughter than going on a pointless date. Carson and I were regulars at the Lorenz’s dinner table. They had kids around Carson’s age, but I never left her there, even when Maria begged for her to stay. They had boys, and Maria said she liked having a girl in the house.

“’Preciate it, man. But I’m good.”

“Ethan, dude, one of these days you’re gonna need to put yourself out there again.”

“I haven’t been a monk,” I reminded him.

When Carson was about two, it was my mom who finally insisted I started giving her “alone time” with her granddaughter, telling me I needed to spend time with away from her and with people my own age. After months of being pestered I relented. It didn’t take but a few times going out with my old friends to be reminded I wasn’t one of them anymore. I may’ve been eighteen but I had responsibilities and a daughter. They were all carefree and were still worried about their cars and chasing ass. I didn’t have that luxury.

Much to my mother’s dismay I’d quit public school, opting to finish my junior and senior years home schooled, and taking online classes. I hadn’t wanted Carson in daycare. The guilt I’d felt was overwhelming. She’d lost her mother, and I never wanted her to feel like she didn’t have me. Everyone said I was crazy, that she was too young to understand, but I did. I understood.

I finished two years of high school in under eighteen months and immediately enrolled in online college classes. I didn’t have time to fuck around, I needed to provide for Carson and myself. My parents had supported us while I was in school. My dad had laid down the law and told me my education and future were what was most important.

I still made time to go out occasionally, mostly when the stress of single fatherhood weighed heavy. From time to time, those nights I’d gone out had led me back to a woman’s bed. However, I made no promises. There would be no tomorrows, only sex with no strings. I had nothing more to offer; all my time belonged to my daughter.

“Biannual pussy doesn’t count,” he chuckled. “You’re a twenty-something virgin.”

“Crude much?” I shook my head. “And to think you kiss your pretty wife with that mouth.”

“Don’t you worry about Maria. She loves my crude mouth.” He wagged his brows and continued to gather his belongings.

I was almost to the door when he called out. “Get some rest. Tomorrow’s gonna suck,” he reminded me.

“Congressional detail always does. See you tomorrow.”

I checked my watch and saw I still had plenty of time to pick up Carson from my parents’ house and grab dinner before the movie.