Page 54 of Chasing Honor

“I’m not worried about my job, Honor. Fuck my job. I’m worried about you.”

“He can’t do anything to me. I don’t have anything to lose. What do you think he’ll do? Kidnap me and hold me hostage until I agree to marry Greg? He’s not that crazy.”

“He’s not? He had a goddamn contract drawn up outlining when you were to fuck Greg. If that’s not crazy I don’t know what is. I wouldn’t put anything past that lunatic. And I don’t like the way Sam looks at you. There’s something wrong with him, he’s fucking nuts, too. There’s no way you’re going anywhere. I’ll talk to my dad and Lorenz, and we’ll go from there.”

“No! You can’t tell your dad.”

Panic clawed at my chest, and the oxygen was ripped from my lungs.

“Why not?”

“You don’t get it. I never wanted you to know what was going on in Frank’s house. I didn’t have the picture-perfect family you have. I didn’t grow up with loving parents. I had a philandering stepfather who fucked whores in his study while his wife slept in the room above. I had a stepbrother that more than likely jerked off on my bed or went through my clothes hamper and smelled my panties. Do you think I really want your dad to know where I come from?”

“Where you come from? Do you think that little of my family?”

“God, no.” What could I say to make him understand? “I’m embarrassed. Can you put yourself in my shoes for two seconds and think about how humiliating it is? I want them to think I’m good enough for you.”

“Good enough for me? Jesus, Honor. You realize I am exactly what Frank said I was. I knocked up my high school girlfriend. I dropped out and had to finish my education at home because I was taking care of an infant. I didn’t walk across some stage and graduate. I had to go to a testing center and take the high school equivalency exam. I don’t even have a regular diploma. Do you think less of me because of my past choices?”

Was he crazy? I respected him for all he’d sacrificed and done for Carson.

“No!”

“Then why would anyone think less of you for something that wasn’t your choice? Everything that is happening is on Frank. Nothing’s your fault.”

“It sure feels like it is. Not to mention I brought this shit to your doorstep.”

Ethan sighed and grabbed my hand.

“You didn’t bring anything. They did.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

“I understand why you didn’t, but, in the future, don’t hide shit from me. A very smart woman once told me the only way to make a relationship work is by being honest. Is there anything else you need to tell me?”

“No. That’s all.”

“Okay. Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Do you forgive me?”

“There’s really nothing to forgive. I wish you would’ve trusted me enough to tell me.” I started to protest but he silenced me. “But I get it. We’re still working out the kinks, getting to know each other. How about we try another restaurant and finish our date?”

“Sounds perfect.”

* * *

Much later that night, after Ethan had made love to me, sweetly we were lying in bed and I was tucked into his side, my arm over his chest and my thigh over his, I thought about his question from earlier.

“I lied in the car when you asked me if there was anything else I needed to tell you.” His body stiffened under mine, and I quickly continued. “There is one more thing; I love you.”

He didn’t relax like I thought he would but instead he rolled me to my back and loomed over me.

“Say it again,” he demanded.

“I love you.” This time he closed his eyes and smiled.

He settled over me and hitched my leg over his hip.