Page 81 of Chasing Honor

“That’s crazy! What about Carson? Didn’t she stop to think about what it would do to her? A strange woman shows up and says hey, I’m your mom. I just wanted to stop by and see how pretty you are, but I don’t want anything to do with you. No fucking way!” Ethan’s smile took me off guard. “What?”

“That’s exactly what I said to her on Sunday before I told her to go home and never come back.”

“But she didn’t listen,” I said unnecessarily.

“She didn’t. And now I’m torn between being fucking furious and beyond grateful. Who knows what would’ve happened if Chrissy hadn’t been there. She was the first on the scene and was able to give you the medical care you needed on site as well as in the ambulance.”

Shit on a shingle. His feelings mirrored my own. I wished to God Chrissy would’ve never shown up at all, but if she hadn’t been there, I could’ve died.

“What about Carson? What did she say to her? Did she tell her?”

Anxiety crept in and threatened to choke me. Carson would have so many questions.

“Chrissy didn’t have any interaction with her other than treating her at the scene. When Chrissy came into the waiting area to tell everyone you were out of surgery, my mom took Carson out of the room.” Ethan stopped and inhaled, holding his breath for a moment before he blew it out. So much pain passed over his features before he began again. “Though, you should know, after she told me she’d witnessed the accident and was able to give the make and model, as well as, a partial plate, I offered her the opportunity to talk to Carson.”

“You what? Why, Ethan?”

“She saved your life,” he mumbled. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d lost you. I felt obligated. If there’s one feeling I hate, it’s guilt. And I’d rather you and I have to answer questions from Carson, rather than feel guilty for the rest of my life. Chrissy gave life to the two most important people to me. One she saved, one she bore. I felt like I owed it to her.”

I didn’t know what to say to Ethan. I was in the same predicament as him. I didn’t particularly like the woman and I really hated what this could mean for Carson, but the fact remained—Chrissy had been in the right place at the right time. And as much as I wanted to pretend she didn’t exist, she did. And if I was going to be in Carson’s and Ethan’s lives, I’d have to accept that fact.

“What did she say? Did Carson talk to her?” I held my breath waiting for his answer. I was pretty sure the answer was, no. Carson would’ve told me.

“No. Chrissy changed her mind. Upon further reflection, she agreed it was selfish of her to speak to Carson when she had no intention of being a part of her life. But she did have a request.”

“What kind of request?”

If Chrissy thought she was seeing Ethan again, she had another thing coming. As grateful as I was, I wasn’t that grateful. There was no way I was allowing her to spend any more time with him just so she could fuck with his head.

“She wants to check on you before she goes home.”

“Check on me?”

“That’s what she said.”

What the fuck? What was her game?

“What did you tell her?”

“That it was up to you and I’d talk to you about it.”

“Huh?”

“If you don’t want to, I’ll tell her to fuck off. If you’d like to talk to her, I’ll be here with you—or not. Whichever you prefer.”

“You’d let me talk to her?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

I was about to remind him of all the reasons I’d think he wouldn’t let me when a sharp, stabbing pain radiated from my left side.

“Time for your pain meds, smalls. We’ll continue this later.”

I didn’t bother arguing with him, the pain was that bad. I knew I’d be out in a matter of minutes after the nurse gave me the medication, and I welcomed the dark abyss.

I was impressed Ethan had been so forthcoming. Not that he’d divulged any deep, dark secrets but at least he wasn’t shutting me out. I’d give him points for that, though he was still a long way away from earning my trust back. I was relieved we had a start. I didn’t want to lose Carson and Ethan, but I had to put myself first in this situation. Maybe I should’ve felt a little guilty, but I didn’t. If I didn’t value myself and my needs, how would he? And if he didn’t, how would we ever truly be happy?

Relationships were about give and take, and right now it was my turn to take. If he could give me this one small thing, I could spend the rest of my life making sure he and Carson were happy.