Page 24 of Saving Meadow

“Shit, Meadow. I’m sorry I scared you. I thought you heard me,” Nick said, and picked up my keys holding them out for me to take.

I hadn’t heard him approach, I was too busy thinking about what a dumbass I was thinking that a man as good looking as Nick would ask me out, even as filler, I wasn’t good enough for him.

“What was that?” he asked.

“What?” I looked around and didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

“That look. What were you thinking about? You went from being scared to sad,” he told me.

“I did? I didn’t mean to.” I busied myself unlocking the door. “Come in,” I offered and stepped to the side to allow him entry.

My apartment was small, but it had everything I needed to be comfortable. Well, most of the time. Except when I had nightmares, then it felt too small. A bonus was it was within walking distance to Sam’s and a grocery store. I bet Nick lived in a nice place, with a big yard, in an upscale neighborhood, with beautiful people who walked their dogs on Sunday morning. They probably had beautiful people block parties in the summer too.

“Are you sure you’re okay? If you don’t feel like going out, we can grab take-out and stay here or go to my place.”

The backtracking has begun. He finally realized what it would mean going out in public with me.

“I’m okay but staying in is fine. It’s probably easier any way.”

“Easier?” Geeze. Did I really need to spell it out for him? “I don’t understand.”

Apparently, I did.

“Listen. It was really nice of you to want to check on me. I promise I’m not going to have some weird mental break and freak out. You don’t have to do this.”

“Have to do what, Meadow?” he growled. Was he mad? He sounded mad, and now I didn’t understand. Why was he upset? “And why would staying in be easier?”

“Really? Seriously? You want me to explain?”

“Yeah, Red, seriously.”

“Do you not see the huge, gigantic scar on my face?” I unnecessarily pointed to it.

“Yeah. I see it. What about it?”

“What about it? You cannot be that dense. You’re a smart man. What do you think happens when I go in public? I can’t hide it. People look, and stare, and sometimes point and say shit. Everyone will see you with me and wonder what the hell the hot guy is doing with the ugly chick.”

Shit. I hadn’t meant to say the last part.

Nick ate up the distance in three angry strides and cupped my face in his large hands, effectively rendering me speechless. No one had ever touched my scar and Nick had done it twice now. Well, the doctor had, but he didn’t count.

“Meadow, not one single person better point, stare or say shit to you when we are out together, or I’ll lose my shield in a quick-hot-minute when I shove my foot up their ass. Anyone who sees the two of us together and doesn’t wonder what such a beautiful, brave, smart woman is doing with the likes of me is a dumbass. Straight up Red, you need to stop filling your pretty head with bullshit. Do you think I care what other people think? Fuck no I don’t. I care what you think. And this…” He paused and ran his thumb across my scar, “means you’re alive. It takes nothing away from how beautiful you are. Your beauty shines from the inside out; scar be damned.”

If he hadn’t been holding me up, I would’ve fallen to the floor.

“Why are you really here?”

I held my breath and waited for his answer.

“Because I want to get to know you better?”

“Why?” I asked.

“Why? Do I need a reason?” I nodded my head and he continued. “Because I’m attracted to you and not just physically. But that’s not to say I’m not using every ounce of willpower right now not to kiss you. I’ve watched you for years like some weirdo in the coffee shop, hoping that you’d give some indication you’d welcome conversation. But you haven’t. And while the situation that brought me to you is fucked up, I’m not stupid, and I’m taking my shot.”

Wow. He’d watched me too.

“Say something Red. Have I freaked you out?”