Page 27 of Maximus

But for some reason beyond the fact Eva was my mission and keeping her alive would be easier if she trusted me to do so, I actually cared if she did.

“You’re right. They’ve done great so far, but if I’m freaked out over what happened, they will be, too. And you need to check in with your team. Brooks said he’d be waiting for your call.”

Determination shone in her eyes.

The love she had for her boys was undeniable.

And a flicker of something I couldn’t read flashed in her eyes, her chest heaved, and the pulse point in her neck throbbed.

“Hey.” I reached out and placed my hands on her shoulders and she stiffened. Damn, I’d meant to comfort her, not freak her out. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“It doesn’t feel that way.”

“It never does when you’re in the thick of it. Darkness creeps in and tricks you into believing it will never end. But it always does.”

“I feel like I’m right back where I started. When Tex saved my boys and brought them back to me, I swore I’d do better. I promised myself that no one would ever hurt them again—including me. One bad decision snowballed out of control. I know you don’t care and it doesn’t matter, but I never wanted to hurt anyone. And I’m not as stupid as you think I am.” Eva’s chin jutted out and she stood a little taller. “Tex gave me a new life, and whether you believe me or not, I’ve spent the months since then doing nothing but working and spending time with my boys.”

I wanted to believe she hadn’t wanted to kill Bubba and Zoey, that she had a conscience. But it was hard to forget she’d dropped the two of them off in a remote area of Alaska and left them there to die.

What would it have been like if my mother had been willing to do anything to keep me?

“Where’d that come from?” I asked her.

“Where’d what come from?”

“I never said I thought you were stupid. I never said I didn’t care. And believe me, it matters to me and to my friends that you have some sort of remorse for what you did to Bubba and Zoey. But why’re you bringing all of that up right now?”

“Because sometimes I catch you looking at me with suspicion. I have nothing to hide. I told Tex everything—every painful detail of my life. I withheld nothing, he deserved to know everything about the woman he was willing to help. And now here you are, hurt because of me, because you were sent to play bodyguard. I don’t want anyone else hurt because of me, I can’t take anymore. I’m afraid the guilt and anger is going to consume me until there’s nothing left. And if that happens, where does that leave Liam and Eli? I talk a big game and say I’d do it all over again to save my boys. I tell myself that I had no choice, but it is all bullshit. I’m weak. I was barely holding it together before, and now I’m afraid I’m going to break. There is no light for me—only darkness. Nothing will ever be okay for me. The best I can hope for is that it will be for my boys. As long as they’re happy, healthy, and good men, I don’t care what happens to me.”

Eva Dawson believed every foul word she said about herself and I hated that she did. Hated that she believed her life was meaningless and the only two people who mattered were her kids.

But the funny thing about hate was, it was a hair’s breadth away from love. And fuck it all, I admired the hell out of a woman I wanted to dislike. I couldn’t stop myself from respecting the fierce mother she was. So, I hated she didn’t care what happened to her, but goddamn if I didn’t love how she put her boys first—above all else.

There wasn’t a damn thing weak about Eva. I knew she’d hitchhiked back to Alaska and I knew where she’d been a stripper to save money to buy her boys back. She would do whatever she had to do to give Liam and Elijah what they needed and she’d drain herself doing it—physically, financially, morally. She’d completely bankrupt herself before she let the boys fail.

Chapter 9

My hands shook as I tweezed the last shard of glass out of Max’s shoulder. I thought one of the cuts needed stitches. He disagreed, then held up a bottle of skin glue and some tape.

Crazy man!

“It’s gonna scar,” I told him. “Maybe if a doctor stitches it closed, it won’t.”

“Babe, does it look like I’m a stranger to scars?”

No, no, he didn’t, and if all of the marks on his back were anything to go by, he was well-acquainted with all sorts of injuries. And when he’d been facing me, holy shit, it’d been impossible not to stare at his impressive chest. He had muscle stacked on top of muscle. But what had caught my attention was a long puckered scar that started right above his belly button, went diagonal toward his hip, then dipped under his waistband. I wanted to run my finger over it, trace the line, and see where it ended. But I didn’t dare.

“Where’d they all come from?” I asked about his marks.

“Here and there.”

“From when you were in the Navy?”

“Some.”

Well, that was cryptic. I let the subject drop because he obviously didn’t want to talk about it, and I wiped some blood from his skin.

“Do you want to wait for me to glue you shut until after you’ve had a shower?”