Page 110 of Declan

Fuck. I’d forgotten that.

Jaxon’s hand shot out and gripped my bicep as I swayed.

I made my way to a chair and sat not knowing how to start a conversation I never wanted to have.

Mason stirred in my arms and I looked down at his chubby face. Violet had been chubby, too. Full cheeks and pouty lips, with Juliana’s coloring and my eyes.

She was perfect.

Tiny fingers that used to wrap around mine. A smile that lit my world. The sweetest giggle that made everything slip away—my parents dying, shitty foster homes, losing my sister, the death and destruction, everything. With Violet in my arms, all was right in my world.

Then she was gone, Juliana was gone, and I felt like nothing would ever be right again.

Until Autumn.

“My daughter, Violet, had the same chubby cheeks,” I croaked, and I heard another painful sob rip from my sister but I didn’t dare look away from Mason. “I always thought she looked just like her mom, but seeing Mason, I realize she had more of me in her than I thought. She had our eyes, and, boy, did she have a temper. When she was smiling and happy, the brown in her eyes danced, but when she got frustrated, they turned red like ours. She was the most perfect thing I’d ever done in my life.

“From the moment she was placed in my arms, I knew what I’d been missing my whole life.” I took in a deep breath and tried to control my emotions. “I loved Violet’s mom, I got the sense our parents loved us before they died, but I had never known soul-deep love until I looked at my daughter. Until I felt her weight in my arms. Until I smelled her. It was then I understood why men fight wars. I knew I’d do anything to protect her.”

With my heart in my throat and a losing battle against the emotions that had taken over, I looked at my sister. Her husband beside her wrapped up in his arms. Yeah, he’d take care of her.

Tears swam in my eyes and I didn’t bother trying to hide them.

My girl deserved my pain, my sorrow, my sadness, and I wasn’t going to deny her any longer.

“Where’s Violet now, Declan?” my sister asked and visibly braced.

“Here.” I placed my free hand over my heart.

“No,” Violet cried. “No, no, no.”

Jaxon pulled her closer and she shoved her face into his chest. Her body shuddered, wracked with pain—for me, for the niece she lost, and for herself.

“How?”

“How they died isn’t important,” I told her. “What’s important is you know they existed. I was married. I met Juliana while I was on an assignment in Brazil, we fell in love, she got pregnant, and we got married. Then we had a beautiful daughter. And for exactly one year of my life, everything was perfect. I had everything a man could want, a pretty wife who was sweet and loving and I had my Violet. You deserve to know you had a niece, but more, my girl’s not a secret, she never should’ve been. I loved her, I loved them.

“Juliana was a good woman. She wasn’t a mistake or something I’m ashamed of. But I couldn’t think about them without feeling like my insides were being torn apart. I have one thing left of her and I want you to have it.”

I stood and kissed my nephew’s head, Jaxon let go of Violet and got to his feet, then reached a hand out to pull Vi up. Once I handed off Mason to his dad, I reached into my back pocket and took out my wallet.

The picture was old and faded, worn from being handled over the years.

My sister closed the distance and stood in front of me and took my offering. Her eyes drifted down and I heard her suck in a lungful of oxygen.

I knew what she saw—my beautiful Violet.

“I can’t—”

“I have her in my heart. I have her in my memory. And I have her in my dreams. You keep that. My girl, your niece, your namesake.”

My sister’s gaze lifted and hit mine. Unchecked tears streamed down her cheeks, and with each one, more pieces of my heart knitted back together.

No more hiding.

No more freezing out the people I cared about.

“She looks like us. Like Mason. She’s beautiful, Dec.”