Page 72 of Fixed Asset

“So you’re telling me it doesn’t get any better?”

“Oh, it gets better. As the months slip into years and I get to wake up every morning with my wife at my side and my boys causing mayhem and chaos, it keeps getting better. But does seeing my wife put herself in danger get easier? Fuck no.”

I opened the cupboard to pull out the coffee canister and noted, “This isn’t making me feel any better.”

“Well, shit, Jack, I didn’t know you wanted me to lie.”

I stared at the counter, feeling the burn in my chest getting hotter.

“I can’t fuck this up,” I mumbled.

“Then don’t.”

Easier said than done when I had an anvil sitting in my gut and we were close to going back out.

“It goes against the grain,” he started. “We’re the protectors. We provide the shield. It’s hard for men like us to fathom it any other way. But, Jack, you hooked up with a woman who is exactly like you. She’s the protector. She’s the shield. Now ask yourself: The man you are, would you have it any other way?”

I didn’t need to search my feelings. I didn’t need to think about my response. Unreservedly, the answer was no. I’d always known I’d need a strong woman at my side. I’d need someone to push back and keep me in check. I needed a partner.

“It’s a double-edged sword, Jack,” he went on. “Both edges slice—yours and hers. Dulling her side doesn’t make yours sharper, it weakens the sword. She will be your greatest asset and your greatest weakness in battle. It doesn’t get easier, but none of it is. The things we see, the things we do, none of that is easy.”

He wasn’t wrong. Nothing about the jobs we did was easy. Each time we went out, we came home with new marks on our souls.

“But I can tell you this, watching my woman do her thing—kick ass, be that shield, rescue hostages, protect those who need her protection, whatever the mission calls for—the one thing I always feel is pride. Here’s this badass, tough warrior princess, and she chose me. She doesn’t need me to keep her safe. She’s saved my ass many times, she’s been my shield more times than I can count.

“Here’s the trick, Jack. What you need to remember is, you’re strong with her at your back. Together, you make the sword. Two shields cover front and back. Learn to use her strength in battle and the two of you become unstoppable.”

Fuck.

There it was.

What I needed.

“Thanks, brother.”

“You get what you needed?”

I leaned my hip against the counter and looked out the window. The morning sun shone over the ocean. And not for the first time, it hit me. I indeed had everything I needed, only now I was armed with Lincoln’s wisdom.

“Yeah, brother, I appreciate you taking the time to give that to me.”

“Anytime.”

The topic changed to his boys and their antics, what was going on in Maryland, and the new case they were working on. Linc’s brother Zane wasn’t fond of the CIA; he worked with them when it suited him and benefited his company. But if the juice wasn’t worth the squeeze, he told them to kick rocks.

“You ever heard of CIA Officer Tom Washington?”

“No, but I can ask around about him.”

“We’ve got Shep on it, but if you wouldn’t mind asking your team, it wouldn’t go unappreciated.”

“Something in particular you’re after?”

I filled him in on our last mission—Catarina being tagged and her phones being tracked—and Tom’s excuse for plausible deniability and Calista being wanted for murder.

“I have heard about Calista Ventura,” he informed me. “She’s wanted for questioning in the deaths of three men. One of them is Victor Stone.”

“Do you know anything about that?”