Page 65 of Cash

“I understand her,” Zane cut in. “I was her before I met Ivy. Full of bullshit bluster. I get you, too. Arrogance and humor all to cover up the fear and rejection. I fed into all the shit that was said about me. You have to know half the stories told about me are so juiced up and twisted even I can’t remember the truth. The fear that accompanied my name was the armor I needed to keep everyone away.

“I couldn’t allow anyone close because I didn’t trust myself not to fall into a trap. Deep down I was still this poor kid, whose father abandoned me, living in a trailer park trying to keep me and my brother from starving. I couldn’t shake the memories of asshole kids picking on me and Linc because we were skinny fucks wearing hand-me-downs that didn’t fit. I knew all it would take was someone showing me the smallest hint of humanity and I’d crumble. I was starved of love and affection, and I knew if I let a woman close, she’d be able to use it to manipulate me.”

I stared at my boss, stunned into silence.

“I don’t know how to love anyone. She’s smart not to trust⁠—”

“Bullshit. Not even thirty minutes ago I watched you shower a little girl who you’ve known for all of a few hours with love and care. And you don’t even like kids.”

That wasn’t true.

“They scare the fuck out of me,” I admitted. “They’re helpless and easily broken.”

“That’s one way to look at it,” he conceded. “Though when I think of Eric and Rose neither of those things come to mind.”

Before I could stop myself, the question felt like it was torn out of me. “What does?”

“Joy. My great blessings. Love. Protection. Pride.”

I knew that to be true. The only person he loved more than his children was his wife. And that was likely because it was Ivy who’d given him his two greatest blessings.

“It was like I fell in love at first sight,” I muttered.

“With who? Lore?”

“No, that was pure lust. My first thought when I met Lore was how quickly I could get her into my bed. It took a while for her hardass, bitchy routine to penetrate. But when the door to the saferoom opened and the saddest pair of blue eyes looked up at me I was a goner. Or maybe it was when I first heard her scared voice asking me if I’d come get her.”

And there was a chance we’d find Stella and she’d take Cara and disappear again. This time I’d lose both of them.

“You’ll need to be convincing and make her stay,” Zane said as if reading my mind.

“How do I do that?”

“Cara. She’s your ace.”

“I’m not using Cara⁠—”

“There’s using then there’s using. If you don’t want to lose Cara you better be prepared to play dirty. Nothing’s off limits when you’re fighting for the woman you love.”

Fuck, did I love Stella or was my ego dented because she’d rejected me?

I glanced at the map on the SUV’s screen. Time to put all these messy feelings away. And hope when the time was right, I didn’t fall back into my normal MO and pretend I was an emotionless, arrogant prick who hated the idea of commitment and love.

“We’re ten minutes out.”

Before I could offer up details Zane’s phone rang through the SUV’s speakers.

Kira.

I hit the screen to connect the call. “Perfect timing.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m perfect at my job. You’re nine minutes out. The white Lincoln Nav that pulled into Damion’s garage approximately four and half hours ago has left. Garrett’s still backtracking the Nav’s movements to see if he can put it in the vicinity of Lore’s house. No luck on that but he did find a clear image of the driver and Damion in the front seat. It looks like there’s one figure in the backseat but it’s in shadow so he can’t tell if it’s a man or a woman. And no view of the cargo hold.”

“Nothing unusual?” I snarled.

“Damion’s SUV pulling into his garage isn’t unusual,” Zane calmly returned. “No one else going in or out?”

“Not according to his ring camera for the last twenty-four hours. He doesn’t have interior cameras, but I think it’s safe to say at a minimum three men entered the house. Two left, Damion and the driver.”