Page 56 of Pining for You

But the other half? Terrified of seeing Eve again. And not just because I haven’t quite worked out what I’ll say, but because this day has been a roller coaster. Even if we do find her, there’s no telling whether that’ll be a peak moment—or when the wheels come off and the ride falls apart.

Not to mention, there’s this teeny, tiny practical sliver of me that says we have to weigh much bigger risk-to-reward ratios that have nothing to do with my love life. Every second in Brooklyn puts our return trip to Ripton in peril. If we don’t leave, we might run into the nightmare scenario that the Metro-North trains shut down too, and then we’ll be royally, festively screwed.

Everyone at Cooper is counting on us to show up and do our part for the Bazaar, but Diya is the one who still needs her job for next year. If she gets in trouble, I’ll never forgive myself. And she may never forgive me.

That thought does it—nothing is worth taking that chance.

“I think we should try to get back to Grand Central,” I say. I’m going for confident and resolved, even though that’s not even remotely the case.

For another beat, no one says a thing.

Somewhere in the distance, a bell is ringing. The door to the bodega behind us keeps opening and closing, letting a few bars of “O Little Town of Bethlehem” come floating out in snippets.

Then, out of nowhere, Cash stomps a hideous borrowed boot. “No!” he says finally. “I did not come all the way to Brooklyn just to take a spin around a market in some heinous footwear and go home—sorry, Audra, no offense, and thanks again.”

She shrugs and shakes her head, unable to keep from smiling at Cash’s mostly toothless tantrum.

“We came here for a kiss, and by god we are going to have it!” He jabs a finger into the air. “I mean, ya know, Bennie is going to have it.”

Normally, I’d assume this outburst is because he hasn’t been fed properly—we never did have that lunch—but right now he seems fully committed to his supporting role in this rom-com.

Either way, his conviction is contagious.

“He’s right.” Izaac puts an arm around his boyfriend. He throws the other around his sister and pulls them both close. “We’ve come this far.”

“Yeah, we can’t give up now,” Diya says, surprising me.

As much as she tries to deny it, Diya has a romantic streak too. This trip has proven it, and that is a huge win for the day no matter what. I only wish Seichi were close enough—maybe she’d be inspired to whip her arms around his neck and finally kiss him. That’d be some solid B story material!

They’re waiting on my reaction, and I want to celebrate the theatrics and their show of solidarity, but we still have no real plan. Before I have to point this out, Audra throws up her hands.

“Wait!” she says, shaking Izaac off and stepping in front of us all. “I have an idea.”

Audra steps away, texting. Izaac paces and Diya is on the phone, probably leaving a voice memo update for her mom. Cash stands a few feet from me, staring at a display of the subway map as intently as he studied the doughnut selection this morning. He’s either memorizing it or trying to rewrite it with his mind.

“That was quite a display of conviction back there,” I say when I reach him.

“Well, someone had to take the reins,” he says. “And I am the eldest boy.”

“Good one, Kendall Roy, but you know the rule. You have now officially used your one nonholiday reference of the season.” I lightly kick his new boots with my own Chucks, which are now soggy from the snow.

“You’re going to get trench foot,” Diya says as she sidles up next to me, looking down at my shoes.

“Trench Foot sounds like the name of a Marvel villain,” Cash says.

“Ohh, adding that to my collection of character names.” I tap my temple, and he gives me a high five as Izaac joins us.

“Hey, how was Audra’s roommate?” Diya asks, though my question is more about how their solo time together went.

“Billy’s a decent enough guy,” Izaac responds slowly, like it’s literally painful to admit. “A major upgrade from that other dude this morning.”

“Did you like her new place?” Cash asks.

“Yeah, actually. It’s really cute,” he says, and a little smile blooms on his face. Then he turns to Diya and me. “And you two would have been proud. She’s got this great little tree, all decorated.”

“Love!” Diya says.

“Did you guys have a chance to really talk?” Cash asks, and I lean in.