Page 62 of Pining for You

The defeat must be killing him, even if technically it’s my defeat.

We wait for him to pull up the MTA app again and I soak up a last look around at the people carrying on with their days, getting on with their last-second blizzard prep and general preholiday merry making.

“Uhhh,” Izaac says, and here we go… I can sense he’s about to drop yet another explosive device on our day. He closes his eyes and turns and lets his head fall back on his shoulders. “Heyyyy, so is anyone else interested in being the bearer of news?”

“That bad?” I ask.

He hands the phone to Diya, who reads aloud.

“ ‘In advance of the impending blizzard… full service shutdown… significant suspensions… travel only if essential…’ ” She pauses. “There’s no way we’re getting back tonight.”

And there it is. Worst-case scenario.

“What? No!” Cash shouts.

Diya closes her eyes, but says nothing.

“Damn, I wish I could offer you guys a place to stay, but the apartment is barely big enough for the two people already trying to live there together,” Audra says with a frown. Izaac puts a grateful hand on her shoulder, but I jump ahead to an even bigger issue.

“Honestly, that’s not even our biggest problem,” I say.

“Not even close to our biggest problem,” Diya adds. For the first time today, I see more of the Diya I know—the one who takes her job very seriously, and the one who will be very upset if we don’t make it back.

“We have to be at Cooper in the morning,” Cash says, gesturing between Diya, himself, and me.

I take a deep breath. I have no reason to believe that everything is going to be fine, but failure is literally not an option. We have to get back.

“Let’s not go there yet,” I say.

I’m no born leader, but if I’m going to make movies someday, I’d better start taking some initiative. This is a chance to try to direct the scene and write a better ending than we are imagining—even though my smashed heart is legit going through a garbage disposal right now.

I try to replay Johnna’s words in my mind. That holding on to optimism is a strength. We’ve already seen so many signs today that have pointed to impending disaster. And so far, we’ve overcome every one. Maybe this is just a plot twist! The dark night of the soul. The dip in the roller coaster before we climb to the peak.

I have to believe that. I’ve already experienced so much disappointment this season. I’m not ready to let our Christmas Eve go too.

“We’re going to make it. We just have to get up really early,” I say, even though I still don’t have a single suggestion or idea for where to stay the night.

“B, the Bazaar…,” Diya starts.

“The Bazaar starts at noon! We don’t even have to be at Cooper until ten a.m. …”

This is a late shift for me, which only happens because the bakery isn’t open during the Bazaar. We spent the last week stockpiling and packaging pastries so Joany and I can help with other tasks throughout the day.

“Right,” Cash concurs, perking up. “So as long as we’re back in Ripton by, what? Nine-ish? We should be okay.”

“Which means leaving…” I squint.

“No later than six thirty,” Diya calculates, padding the estimation for a stop home to change, et cetera.

“Cash, you can tell Bev you’re staying at my place. Z, you’re probably in the clear, right?”

He nods. Izaac has his own entrance to the Evanses’ house, and his parents likely won’t even check on him.

I turn to Diya.

“If we get home early enough, will your mom notice you were gone?” I ask.

She thinks about it. “Probably not. She won’t be home until late and then I don’t usually see her in the morning before I leave for my shift. Also, I already told her I might stay at your house.”