Page 14 of My Own Kind of Person

“It’s incredible,” I say.

“It’s a pignoli. Kaye’s work makes them.”

I shake my head. “I need a new job.”

I work at the library. A lot of naps behind bookshelves. Very few baked goods.

“Me too,” Christy says. “My shift starts in like fifteen minutes.”

“Really? Darn!”

She stamps a foot. “I’m around at night but I know your mom has off so you’ll be with her.”

“I should see her, yeah.”

She doesn’t break eye contact but I’m not sure what else there is to say.

The alarm on her phone blares. “Ugh.” She searches her backpack and shuts it off.

“You want to hang Friday night?”

She beams. “Yeah!”

“My mom’s working, so we can do my house.”

“We can bake pignolis.”

“Genius.”

She makes a serious face and flicks her eyebrows. I give her a kiss. She rushes through the double doors at the end of the hall and I watch for a few seconds as other kids rush out too.

I lean back against a locker and close my eyes. I don’t think I realized until now how much I’d needed that interaction with Christy to go okay. The skin on my face gets heavy and tired. It’s exhausting being on all the time, but it’s easier than figuring out the alternative.

“You okay?”

It’s Christy. She’s standing in front of me.

“Enjoying a brief self-guided meditation,” I say.

“I wanted to tell you something.”

“Oo!” I lift my hands and wiggle my fingers.

The firemark up her neck burns red. “The other night was really beautiful. You’re really beautiful.”

“Thank you.” My brain shouts at me. “You are.”

She takes my hand. “And we don’t need to rush to have sex. So don’t worry at all about what happened.”

The embarrassment is so profound, it’s almost a religious experience.

I nod. I try to smile. “Okay.”

“Do you definitely want to be with me, though?”

“Seriously? Of course.”

“It’s okay if you don’t.”