Page 37 of My Own Kind of Person

Andi writes, You met someone who made you dislike men and now you can only write serious things instead of dumb jokes?

Who is this person I want to meet them

“One second,” I say to Tony.

Ha, I write to Andi.

Tony says, “Come over ASAP so we can prepare.”

“I’m at work,” I tell him, staring at the conversation with Andi. “But I’ll come over when I’m done?”

“Yes! You got this!” He holds up a fist and ends the call.

Why is my chest shaking?

Can you meet at Tony’s after work? I ask Andi.

I’m doing a double, Andi says.

Can you come to the show at McGuinn’s tonight, I ask.

Sorry bud, they say. Working until close

I message Christy, I got into the showcase at McGuinn’s tonight and if I’m good enough I’m in the Joe Johnson competition

Can you come?

She doesn’t reply and I wish I hadn’t told her. I wanted her excitement to make me feel better, but her silence makes me feel worse. We had such a good night last night and now I feel like I’ve ruined it.

Also, Andi says, I told you I’m done with McGallagher’s

McGuinn’s, I say. And I am too but

I’m trying to figure out what to type and Andi says, Why would you do stand-up again when you’re not even interested in writing it

Honestly? I write.

They reply, Yes???

I type slowly and what I type makes me want to cry. Because I have low self-esteem and I need the applause

That’s funny, Andi says.

I let out a breathy sound. You know you’re the second person to tell me something is funny when I was only trying to tell the truth

Duh, Andi says, I only tell the truth and I’m hilarious

The truth is funny

I reread this.

I turn to the document I’ve been writing in. I leave all the stories there but I delete the title, ENGLISH HOMEWORK, and write NEW STAND-UP.

Chapter 12

“Are you kidding?” Tony says. “Stick to the old set.”

We’re at his kitchen table with our phones out. It shouldn’t surprise me that he has transcripts of everything I’ve ever said onstage, with punchlines highlighted in varying shades of green depending on how many laughs they got. Tony’s two little brothers are playing video games next to us with the same soundtracks going at different times.