Page 39 of My Own Kind of Person

“That’s—”

“Sean doesn’t like Jesus,” Tony says.

I look down at the crucified man.

“I never met the guy,” I say, which isn’t entirely true. I got my Communion with Tony, but after we moved farther away I stopped going to Religion and never got my confirmation. I went to enough church to learn to feel guilty but not enough to learn how to feel better.

“Jesus is very nice!” Mrs. Z says as she opens wet food for their big sausage dog, Daisy. Daisy barks at the food until it’s in her mouth.

“I go to church for the free snack,” Mr. Z says. “The body of Christ is delicious.”

“Gay,” Tony declares. “Non-derogatorily, that is.”

“I go proud homo for Jesus,” Mr. Z replies.

Tony laughs.

I take out my phone and I write in NEW STAND-UP about how Mr. Z brought us to Hooters for Tony’s thirteenth birthday. I had to get a permission slip signed by Mom. Tony dared me to leave my phone number for the server, and I did, and I felt proud. Then I pointed out how you could see the top of a thong on a woman at a nearby table, and Mr. Z shook his head at me very seriously and I felt ashamed.

Why am I writing any of this down? I shouldn’t do a new set.

I write how one weekend Mr. Z shuffled Tony and me into the bathroom and showed us how to shave. He even kissed the top of my head when we were done. I drew him a Father’s Day card that year.

Why am I writing this when it’s not at all funny?

“Four o’clock.” Tony leaps out of his chair. “We gotta go.”

He likes to arrive two hours before a show to be safe.

I check for a message from Andi. Nothing. There’s no reason they would have written again but I still wish they had.

I message them, Can I send you the new set I’m working on?

They don’t reply.

My face twitches.

Mrs. Z hustles over and hands Tony and me each a bag of mini muffins. “For later.”

Tony heads to the door and takes a white button-down off the railing of the stairs and hands it to me.

“Your uniform,” he says.

“This won’t fit me. I should get my own button-down from my house.”

I put the shirt on. It looks like I’m wearing a large square.

He loops a pre-knotted tie over my neck. “Here.”

It’s a black-and-green geometric design.

“I don’t know if this is my vibe,” I say.

“What are you talking about? Shirt and tie.”

“Yeah, but…” Not this shirt and tie. “I’ll be right back.”

I go to the bathroom and lock the door.