Page 46 of My Own Kind of Person

“That’s not a common African American last name.” When this doesn’t get a reaction, he asks, “Is it?”

Elijah doesn’t blink. “I have no idea.”

“Was that an inappropriate question?” Jay puts his hands up. “I was just curious!”

Onstage, I said I want to be a good man but can’t imagine a man I’d like to be. Looking at Jay, I at least know who I don’t want to be.

Steph smiles with all her teeth. “Nice to meet you, Elijah. I’m Steph.”

“Hi, Steph.”

Steph holds up her page. “I really don’t want to go first but I can if that’s—”

“I hope I didn’t scare you the other morning, O’Brien,” Jay says, laughing for some reason.

“I’m sorry?”

“When I drove around you at the stoplight.”

“That was you in the truck? Can I ask, what do you need to carry in the back of a pickup?”

“Don’t feel bad, O’Brien. It’s okay if you need to take things slow.”

The hair on the back of my neck stands up. I watch his face.

Elijah clears his throat. “Steph—”

“How was your summer, O’Brien?” Jay says.

My voice is gentle, full-on polite. “It was good. How was yours, Jay?”

“You lose anything?”

“Did I lose anything? No.”

“No.” Jay smiles. “I heard you almost did but you freaked out and couldn’t seal the deal.”

Images flash of Christy talking to Kaye and Kaye talking to Jay. My face goes numb and I enter defense mode.

“Oh.” I nod. “I almost lost my sense of decency but then I remembered I wasn’t a horrible person.”

Jay narrows his eyes. “Not your best comeback, O’Brien.” He slaps my arm. “That’s okay. I’m just kidding around.”

If I could rewind my life to stop his hand from ever touching me, I would change literally any moment required.

Thankfully, Steph takes over and tells her chipmunk story, and in a miraculous display of social skills, Elijah asks her about chipmunks for fifteen more minutes.

When Mr. Mazzei brings everyone’s attention back to the front, I look at Elijah and he winks.

“On Wednesday,” Mazzei says, “I’d love it if one or two people could come up and share early drafts of their stories so the class can practice giving feedback. No scores yet. No pressure. Though we could do it in the auditorium, if that feels fun. Would anyone do us the honor?”

Jay stands up. “I contribute myself as volunteer.”

Mazzei keeps looking around. “Anyone?”

I jump out of my chair. “I’ll go.”

Jay laughs. “Chill, O’Brien. We already got one.”