Page 53 of My Own Kind of Person

Finally she leans back in her seat. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” I keep my hands on my lap. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She flicks away a tear like it’s a speck on a table. “I was out with some guys who come into 7-Eleven a lot and this one guy was an idiot. I came home pissed and my mom had to be a jerk about it.” From the back of her throat comes a muffled growl, and she presses her fists into the sides of her head. “Thank you for being around.”

“This is where I am.” I can’t figure out if it’s kind to ask more or to leave her alone. With Tony and Andi, they don’t want me to ask more. And I don’t want to seem like a guy who’s jealous of his girlfriend hanging out with other guys. But what if it’s caring to ask more? Wouldn’t Elijah ask more? “What happened with the guy who was an idiot? If you want to say.”

She leans her face onto her hand and gazes at me. She’s wearing blue eyeshadow.

I’m ashamed to find that I’m turned on.

“Let’s go outside,” she says.

I walk out onto the sand but she turns and goes toward the dense, woodsy brush. That’s where she showed me how to kiss this past summer. She pressed me against a tree, her knee slowly separating my legs.

I keep going my way, to the water, stopping where the sand gets damp. It doesn’t seem the appropriate time to be having these thoughts.

I hear her behind me and she puts a hand on my lower back.

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you back earlier,” she says.

“I’m sorry I dumped all my thoughts on you.”

She turns me toward her. “I felt like you needed something I didn’t want to provide.”

“That sounds about right.”

She laughs. “But I’m sorry I didn’t want to provide it!”

I am attracted to…people apologizing?

I put a finger through a belt loop in her jeans and lightly pull her closer. “That’s all right.”

“Now that I’m done shouting, how’s your night?”

Sound presses against the inside of my skull. I run my thumb over the spot where her sides come out of her jeans. “How did you know you weren’t attracted to that girl Lauren?”

She makes a sound like a laugh. “I was definitely attracted to her.”

“Then why would you say you’re straight?”

“I dunno. Maybe I’m not.”

I pull her closer so the front of her jeans presses against the front of mine. “What do you mean?”

She kisses my neck. “I’ve thought about being with a girl.”

“You have?”

“How everything would be gentle and slow.”

She kisses higher up my neck.

“Like…like what?”

“Like this.” She kisses my lips softly, the way I always wished she would.

Then she bites my lip, hard, and I pull away.