Page 105 of Cocky Brutal Sinner

“Yeah, why not?” Pippa says with a shrug.

An hour later, I’m sure that Eden’s a genius, because turning on The Price is Right gives us all something to focus on besides worrying about Maura. Cat fiddles with the ends of her hair, twisting and untwisting it. Ryan compulsively checks his phone then puts it away, like it might tell him what’s going on in that room full of doctors down the hall.

When James finally appears at the door, we’re all wound so tight, I’m surprised nobody jumps.

James looks hollowed out. His shoulders are slumped, his usual cold composure gone. Instead, in the face of possibly losing his wife and baby, he just looks exhausted and afraid.

Cat flies across the room and wraps her arms around James. He stiffens, then gives into her hug.

“Thank you,” he almost whispers.

“How’s Maura?” Brinley asks.

“Stable, for now. She’s had attacks like this before, but the pregnancy complicates her treatment. They’re keeping her here for observation. We’re not out of the woods yet—another cardiac event could happen. But the doctors are optimistic.”

Relief hits me like a wave. I exhale a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Next to me, Nate does the same.

“Oh, thank god,” Brinley says tearfully. Pippa hands her a tissue, then wipes her own eyes.

“Is she awake? Can we see her?” Cat asks.

“She’s resting,” James says. “The whole thing exhausted her. She was barely awake long enough to talk to me.”

“Sit down for a minute,” Luke says, patting James on the back. “Take a break. Have a sandwich.”

James shakes his head. “I need to get back to Maura’s room. I want—I need to be there, in case she wakes up. She can’t have other visitors for now. Maybe tomorrow, if everything goes well.”

“Is there anything else we can do?” Eden asks.

“Not right now. And nobody has to stay here, if you have other things to do. But I’m glad you’re all here. Your presence, when I needed it…well, it means a lot to me. The room is yours, for as long as you like.”

It’s the most emotional I’ve ever seen James. I never thought he’d admit to needing us.

I’m not sure who moves first, but suddenly all the guys are hugging James in some kind of messy huddle. Luke doesn’t flinch when I stand beside him, or when I pat him on the back. Ryan insists on hugging everyone individually, including Eden.

Once James extracts himself from the group hug, he goes back to Maura’s room. Nate runs downstairs to get everyone pizza from a place down the block, and the girls get to work organizing meals by shifts. It’s unspoken that we’ll be here as much as we can until Maura’s better, because we all refuse to live in a world where she doesn’t.

All the lies and secrets get pushed aside for the moment. Our grudges don’t disappear, but they shrink to their actual size, which turns out to be much smaller than a heartbeat on a monitor.

38

BRINLEY

At this point, the hospital room next to Maura’s looks more like a pillow fort than a place of healing. We’ve dragged enough floor mattresses and pillows to act as impromptu beds and chairs that there’s barely space to move around.

James still hasn’t left the hospital once. Whenever Maura rests, he comes to the pillow room next door to check emails. He must have slept at some point, but I haven’t seen it. I suspect he just periodically whirs and shuts down.

It's the funniest thing my brain has produced in weeks. I file it away in my Peppermint drafts folder, even though Peppermint is dead and her drafts folder is now a graveyard.

The rest of us cycle in and out. Cat spends her days here, but Nate put his foot down on his pregnant wife sleeping away from their expensive mattress and pregnancy pillows. Luke, Nate, and Ryan cycle in and out, bringing food and whatever item James thinks might make Maura feel more comfortable. I come whenever the Copper Cup isn’t open.

Beau joins us after Terrace closes. Nobody says anything when he and I curl up together on a thin mattress in the corner to sleep. Our relationship is one of many elephants in the room that we’re all carefully stepping around.

Five days after Maura’s was admitted, I wake up to find myself alone in the room with James. He’s looking at me thoughtfully.

“You don’t have to stay here, you know,” he says.

I stiffen. I knew my welcome would wear out eventually. When our terror for Maura’s safety faded to concern, someone would remember all the terrible things I wrote and eject me from the group.