Page 10 of XO Karma

Karma Request #2472

Crime: Took a girl on a first date. Spent $300 on dinner and she wouldn’t even kiss me at the end

Evidence: (1) image of receipt,(6) screenshots

Preferred Punishment: Flirt with her on Tinder, then ghost her. Do it five times with different accounts.

Payment Offered: $250

How To Find The Target: [Shown after job is accepted]

While crime may be “down” in Cleosville, the number of fuckboys who deserve itching powder in their underwear drawer is infinite. A blood vessel threatens to pop on my forehead as my face twists. Why are men the way they are?

Karma should be fulfilled on this guy for being such a misogynistic douche. I flag the request in case I’m ever feeling petty and have time to do an IP search.

Next! I shout in my head, pretending I’m on an old MTV show set and these requests are the awaiting contestants.

Karma Request #2473

Crime: My roommate keeps stealing my food

Evidence: (10) photos

Preferred Punishment: Every Thursday they eat dinner at the Rusty Crab on 43rd Street. Put a laxative in their meal.

Payment Offered: $50

How To Find The Target: [Shown after job is accepted]

While this is highly relatable—and I may have had a fantasy or five of committing the same punishment on Liam for stealing my leftover tiramisu last week—it feels like an extreme overreaction, and certainly worth more than fifty bucks.

I let my eyes wander around the coffee shop, willing a better option into the universe. A few tables away, I spot an abandoned paper from our local media outlet, Solarium News, and I head to retrieve it. I may not get paid for self-chosen karmas, but at least I get satisfaction of knowing I’m actually helping. It’s been two days since I completed the last request, and I’m itching for more retribution. After plopping back in my seat, I unfold it, and my gaze snags on the front-page headline.

Every hair on my body stands, a chill scattering down my spine as I bolt forward in my seat, forcing the chair legs to screech against the linoleum.

The entire room spins on its axis. Did Liam lie the other night? Mugging gone wrong, my ass. My breathing is shaky as I struggle to suppress memories that have been tucked away in the deepest corner of my subconsciousness.

Soft green irises paired with a light laugh blend into my mind, and I squeeze my eyes shut.

“Come on, Vi,” I say with a grin, dragging her through the crowded room towards the bar. “Loosen up! I need to let off some steam.”

“I’m trying.” Violet looks at her cell again. “I just can’t do Girls Gone Wild tonight.”

“You’re basically the founder of the term.” I huff a laugh, eyes analyzing the variety of liquors on the wall. “What’s going on with you?”

She waves me off, sending another text. “Just a difficult client. They’re not taking no for an answer.”

“What is it this time? Another one that doesn’t understand they can’t buy the Mona Lisa?”

“It never ceases to amaze me. At least once a year, someone thinks the rules don’t apply to them. But no, something else.”

“I’m not used to seeing you this stressed about work stuff.” I nudge her shoulder. “You’re usually so robotically zen. Do we need to go to yoga in the morning?”

“I’m still human.” She smiles, booping my nose. “Just because I can get zen doesn’t mean I can’t get stressed.”

“True. But I still don’t think I’ve ever seen you more stressed than our senior prom.”

“Listen.” She chokes a laugh, running a hand through her black hair, twirling the purple ends. “What can I say? It was a wild night.”