Page 142 of XO Karma

“For?”

“Manhandling you.”

“I did have a nice view of your ass for a while there,” I tease, trying to keep the mood light, but I do appreciate his apology.

He huffs a laugh, but it’s weak. “I swear I would only ever do something like that if I thought you were in imminent danger.” He rests his head in the crook of my neck. “You weren’t thinking clearly.”

Emotional exhaustion consumes me. “I know.”

A soft kiss lands on my cheek. “We’re going to figure out what happened to Violet.”

“Well, we can say goodbye to whatever was in that cabin. If someone did see us, they’re likely removing every trace of her as we speak.”

“Maybe. Or maybe it’ll spook them just enough to make a mistake.”

“You are ever the optimist, Aster Blake.”

He pulls my hair behind my shoulder. “Beats the alternative.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Admitting defeat. It’s not over till we say it’s over.”

“Tell that to my brother. If it were his choice, I’d forget Violet existed and move on like nothing happened. Like he did.”

Aster squeezes me tight. “I don’t think he’s forgotten.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Your brother may be a dick, but he cares about you deeply. It’s clear he would do anything to protect you.”

“I’m not following…”

“Sometimes…” Aster sighs. “When someone dies, people avoid talking about them as a coping mechanism.”

Turning in his arms, I place a hand on his face, and his eyes flutter shut. “Is that what you did after your brother died?” He leans into my touch as if he’s searching for comfort and nods. “And what helped you change that?”

“If I figure it out, I’ll let you know.” Taking my wrist, he angles it to place kisses on my palm.

“If you ever want to talk about it,” I say, my voice but a whisper, “I’m here.”

“The darkness I’ve experienced.” He shakes his head. “I never want to push that on you.”

“You’re not pushing it.” I brush his hair out of his eyes glistening in the moonlight. So soft. So hesitant. A look I’m unfamiliar with when it comes to him. “I want to know.” I run my thumb along his jaw as my chest tightens. “I want to learn everything you’re willing to share with me.”

“I’ll scare you off.”

“You won’t.” Of all the things I’ve learned about this man, I truly find it hard to believe there’s anything he could say that would change how I feel about him.

“I adore you,” he murmurs. “I don’t want to lose you.” He pulls me closer, our lips a breath apart.

“I…” The sureness I feel about this man, after everything he’s done, should feel wrong. But it doesn’t. Being with Aster is the only time in my life I feel like I can breathe without glancing over my shoulder. The only time I feel truly seen and heard and loved. “I know the things you do. I’ve seen you take a life.” He swallows hard, eyes falling to the ground. I put my pointer under his chin, forcing his gaze to meet mine. “And I still love you.”

Every thought leaves my brain as his lips press to mine, both his hands sliding in my hair. He pulls away and whispers, “I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you.” That makes two of us.

A smile pulls at my lips. “Guess I’m your Karma.”

He huffs a laugh. “Yes, you are, baby.” He presses another gentle kiss on my lips, then tucks me into his side. “I’ve never spoken about the night Oliver died.” My chest sinks. I know all too well the loneliness of keeping that ache inside. Of not daring to speak about the thing tormenting you out of fear of spreading that darkness on those you love. “Not even with my sister.”