Page 46 of An Alpha’s Guide to Finding the One

My lower lip wobbles, tears springing to my eyes for the third time today. My head shakes, and he makes a distressed sound before pulling me into his lap. My sobs are quiet, but my tears soak his shirt, leaving no doubt that I’m once again crying over the things my mother said to me. “I don’t know why it still hurts so much,” I whisper into Rhys’s chest.

His hands curl around my body, one on my neck and one around my back. “It hurts because she was always supposed to be the one person that loved you unconditionally, baby girl. And not only does she not do that, she uses the idea of that love and her position as your mother to manipulate you into feeling like you need to earn her love. Like you aren’t enough exactly as you are.”

“But that’s not true.” Lawson jumps in. The couch dips next to us, and I’m surprised to find he looks almost calm. Certainly steadier than he was when we first arrived. “You are a giver, Lainey. Every room you walk into and every person you meet is only better for having known you. A minute, a day, a lifetime. You feel so deeply and give so much of yourself to those you love that there is absolutely no masking it, even when you think you’re being mean.”

I glance at Lucky, and he just smirks. “I like you mean, don’t worry. But my brother is right. You have a huge heart and you hide it behind several layers of barbed wire. I didn’t really understand why before, but I think I’m starting to now.”

Wyatt sits on the coffee table in front of us, stroking his hand down my cheek. He doesn’t have to say anything. I know how he feels and I love him for it.

I jolt, a cascade of butterflies taking flight in my chest just as an elbow jams into my belly button. Ouch. But holy shit, I love these men. I already told Wyatt, but the burning need to tell the others as soon as possible slams into me. Like maybe I won’t get another chance. It’s ridiculous, but my omega is dancing a jig in my chest now that I’ve finally identified the feeling for what it is.

“We need to file a restraining order.” Lawson’s solemn statement snaps me out of my revelation.

The words land, but for once, the idea of cutting Laura off completely doesn’t scare me. In fact, it’s freeing. All the alphas but Lawson are staring at me like I’m about to snap, but I just nod. “I agree.”

Law nods resolutely, but the pride shining in his eyes and down the bond swells in my chest, filling the space left behind by a mother who should have cared but didn’t, and a father who wasn’t there. My biological family may be dwindling by the day, but these men? These men are the forever kind of family.

Going over the logistics of filing a restraining order is tedious and painful, especially when I have to dig up every awful thing Laura has said or done to me to submit as evidence. Old messages, emails, voicemails, photos of the hand-shaped bruise on my face from the one time she got physical. By the time all is said and done, several hours have passed and I am dead on my feet. Even the babies have gone quiet, their kicks and punches having slowed and gentled.

But before I can go to bed… “Will you sleep with me tonight?” I ask Lucky, lacing my fingers with his.

He looks surprised for a moment but quickly masks the expression, instead giving me a genuine grin that holds none of his usual teasing. “I would love that, kitten. Lead the way.”

I quickly kiss the rest of my alphas goodnight and then trudge up the absurd number of stairs until we reach my bedroom. None of my pack has seen what I’m about to show Lucky, and I can only hope he takes it for the gesture of trust and love that it is. “Do you need to shower or anything?” I ask him.

He shakes his head, but then nods, before ending with a shrug. “I don’t, but if you do I’m not missing out on the chance to help you.” One of the most surprising things about Lucky is just how much of a natural caretaker he is. It isn’t as innate as Wyatt or as intense as Rhys and Lawson, but it means just as much because it’s intentional. He’s always finding little ways to make my day easier, including washing my hair when I don’t feel like I can possibly lift my arms long enough to do it myself. A touch dramatic? Maybe. But I’m growing two babies here.

“I should probably shower since I’m still covered in Wyatt, but…”

“But you don’t want to wash off his scent,” he correctly guesses.

I nod shyly, still not totally comfortable letting my omega instincts show themselves, but Lucky just nods. “Hop in the shower, but don’t wash your hair. I have an idea.” He turns around and runs out, leaving me wondering what he could be up to.

I’m too tired to worry about it, so instead of dwelling, I shrug it off and jump in the shower, using one of the lighter vanilla body washes Wyatt stocked for me. It complements all of our scents well, and that’s what I want right now.

I decide not to wash my hair, so the shower is super fast and by the time I’m out and mostly dry, Lucky reappears with two items of clothing clutched in his hands. “I didn’t know if you would be cold after being outside earlier or if you would be warm from the fire so I grabbed a short sleeve tee and also a crewneck. I thought about a hoodie but Rhys reminded me your neck has been sensitive with stuff like that so I thought a crewneck would be safer.”

It’s like the reminder of being out in the snow has jumpstarted my bodies natural response and I shiver, goosebumps spreading across every inch of exposed skin. Lucky’s hazel eyes track this and he steps forward, holding the sweatshirt out and tossing the tee on the vanity. “Arms up.” I do, and he drops the sweatshirt over my head, smoothing it down and sending gusts of Wyatt’s warm cocoa scent to my nose.

My eyes dart to Lucky’s only to find a pleased tilt to his lips. “I love that you love him so much,” he murmurs. I tilt my head and my confusion must be plain to see because he continues without prompting. “Wyatt hasn’t had it easy. There haven’t been many people in his life that chose him for him and not who he knows or what he could do for them. You are exactly what he needed, Lainey. What we all needed.”

He doesn’t know it yet, but that is exactly what I needed to hear. Instead of answering, I take his hand and pull him back into my bedroom. The sweatshirt is so long it covers me to my mid thighs even with the baby bump, so I don’t bother with panties. They’ll probably just come off again later anyway. “Come with me.” The door to my recently finished nest is shut, exactly how it has been for weeks now. I haven’t let a single soul see it while I was working on it, though the alphas almost threw a collective fit when I announced it was a Lainey-only zone for the time being. I think they were just worried I would try to build something or carry heavy furniture.

The nest was already painted a perfect shade of navy blue and equipped with a recessed bed taking up an entire section of the round space, so all I had to do was decorate and add a few of my own personal touches, which has always been my favorite part anyway, and I adore how it turned out. I hope Lucky likes it, too.

Without ceremony, I shove the door open and pull him along behind me until we’re sitting in the center of the space, right in the middle of the gigantic bed. Our position allows us full view of the space, from the hand painted holographic stars tipped in gold, to the bedding in various shades of the sunset. The sheets are a purple so deep it’s almost black, while the fluffy comforter starts in a yellow just a few shades darker than the one in my bedroom and fades all the way down to a deep pinkish orange. The pillows are a mixture of colors and textures, all omega-approved and fitting with the theme. And then right in the middle of everything is the softest blanket I have ever felt that perfectly represents the green flash you see when the sun sinks into the horizon for the night.

“Lainey…” Lucky trails off, his lips parted and eyes wide with awe. “You did all of this?”

I nod, immensely proud of how it turned out. I worried after months away I would lose some of my passion for interior design and decoration, but it came roaring back the minute we stepped into Nestful. “My bedroom is so bright, like the most perfect sunny spring day. I wanted the nest to feel similar, but have the more calming effect of sunset and a clear night sky. I actually found a sound machine that has a “summer night” setting with crickets, waves lapping, and leaves rustling like a breeze is blowing through them. That was actually part of what inspired all of this,” I gesture around us like he doesn’t already know what I’m referencing.

Lucky gets to his knees, crawling towards me with painstakingly slow movements. I fall back into the pillows, not bothering to hide my excitement when he comes to a stop hovering over my body. “Your nest is so beautiful, omega.” He places a kiss on my shoulder where the sweatshirt slipped down. “Thank you for letting me see it.”

“You’re the first,” I whisper, and his head pops up, pupils wide.

“None of the others have seen your nest yet?”

I shake my head, teeth digging into my bottom lip hard enough to sting.