Page 12 of Kicking Up Dust

“There’s a really big one right in front of you. Be sure to get extra close.”

I snort. She doesn’t get enough credit for her wit. Sure, she can be a bit snotty, but outside of the bedroom, it’s part of her appeal. Maddox gets back at me by tossing my beer can back at me, and I almost feel like I’ve won until Austin starts playing with Maddie’s hair and loving on him. His eyes go all moony and I keep hitting him with barbs that aren’t even landing because all he’s focused on is Austin.

The jealousy bubbling up inside of me feels dangerous and volatile, but it’s too late to do anything about it. “So, what? You two together now or something?”

I know they’re not. Austin isn’t built for planting roots. She’s had one foot out of Cedar Creek for years. The second she’s able to leave, she’s going to, and she’s not ever coming back. Tying herself down to the largest ranching family in this area of Montana is counterproductive. I still ask, though. Just to make her say it. To humble Maddox.

Maybe I’m a terrible person. I’m a terrible son, no question. A terrible brother, for sure. I shouldn’t want my brother to hurt. But at this point, I’d do damn near anything to feel just a little less shitty, and there’s got to be some sort of transitive property of pain where I can take a portion of mine and make someone else carry it for a while.

Maddie’s strong enough to carry it. I’m not.

Neither of them answers, which is answer enough. Austin tries to leave, but if they leave, I won’t have anyone else to lash out at, so I go for the jugular.

“She’s great in bed, isn’t she?”

“Shut up, Colt,” Austin hisses, like it’s a secret.

“What? He doesn’t know?” I ask, hopeful.

“Oh, he knows,” Maddox says as he cracks his knuckles.

Bingo. I grin at him. Just a little further.

“Those whimpers she makes when she gets close…”

Austin says something, but it doesn’t register. I’ve got a sniper’s eye on Maddox’s reactions, waiting to push him far enough he’ll hit me so I can hit him back.

“The way her skin dents in under your fingers when you hold her really tight to plow⁠—”

Maddox cuts me off by trying to stand, the log rolling just enough to send me into a reflexive stance, but Austin’s hand on his shoulder pushes him back down onto the ground. Pansy ass.

“Jesus Christ, can you please shut the fuck up before your mama hears what a heinous little boy you are?” Austin practically yells so Mama’s sure to overhear her from across the fire.

I glare at her while Mama reprimands me.

“Nah, Mama, I’m not starting anything. I was just warning Maddie that Austin’s gonna be coming to her senses and dumping his ass soon enough,” I lie, knowing that after thirty-plus years, she picks her battles when it comes to sibling rivalry and if she thinks it’s just a harmless argument, she won’t continue to harp.

“Colton, quit it,” Jameson warns and I spin toward him. I don’t even remember him walking up, but that happens a lot when I get like this, all tunnel-visioned on talking shit and hoping I can press the right buttons to entice a fight.

“Why? He can be a nagging asshole to all of us, but I can’t nag him back a little bit?”

“Maybe he wouldn’t have to be a nagging asshole all the time if he wasn’t the only one willing to do it, Colt. Have you ever thought of that?” Austin interrupts as though anyone was talking to her. Sure, I’d brought her into the conversation once I realized I could use her to push Maddie’s buttons, but it wasn’t anything personal, and it wasn’t really her place to get in the middle of Whittaker arguments.

“You spend most of the year off gallivanting around the country and risking your life on the back of a bull like you have an extra handful of them stored away. When you do come home, it’s just to joke around and cause fights and then fuck back off before the hard work needs doing again. Meanwhile, your brother’s up before dawn every morning and home after dark each night, keeping this place running so you’ve got a home to come back to when your dream life gets a little too boring for you. I’d probably be an asshole too in that case. Shit, I’d probably be an even bigger asshole than he is. You need to take this childish bullshit you’ve got going on and shove it up your ass because the rage-baiting is getting old and so are you. Grow the fuck up.”

I’ve seen Austin angry loads of times. I’ve even seen her angry with me on several occasions. I can be a major douchebag when I’m trying to push people away and unfortunately, Austin’s experienced it quite a few times. But knowing Maddox has turned her fully against me, knowing they were so fucking entwined with one another that being a dick to Maddox was something she apparently took personally… well that fucking sucked.

Because Austin was someone I always felt like was a female version of me. We had so much in common—both jaded as hell, both always down for a good time—but Maddox obviously loved Austin, even though he couldn’t fucking stand me.

Jameson laughs at me, and someone across the fire makes a snide comment and all of a sudden, there’s not a single thing on this goddamn ranch that I love enough to stay here.

I fucking hate this ranch.

And I fucking hate Montana.

And I wish I’d never come home.

I’ll be damned if I ever do again.