Page 96 of Kicking Up Dust

“She’s okay?” she asks the nurse anxiously.

“She’s completely fine,” they reassure her, adjusting the blankets around them. “Breathing is hard work and it just takes a little longer to get the hang of it sometimes.”

“But she’s okay?” she asks again. If the nurse finds it annoying, she doesn’t act like it. She only smiles and nods before giving us our privacy.

Blair looks up at me with the prettiest, most exhausted smile and I can’t help but lean down and kiss her.

“She’s so perfect. I’ll never be able to thank you enough.”

“She is,” Blair agrees, hair clinging to her forehead with sweat as she plays with our baby’s fingers. I don’t think she’s ever looked more beautiful to me.

“Fuck, I love you. Can I be your husband?”

Blair snorts, which makes the baby jolt a bit. She cradles her head as she says, “Sure, cowboy. You can be my husband, but ask again later with a ring.”

I laugh at that and kiss her on the forehead.

“Okay, deal.” It’s only then that I notice Mama is hovering and wave her over. “Come see your grandbaby.”

Her eyes flick over to Blair, who smiles just as wide and invitingly.

“She’s absolutely gorgeous, Blair,” Mama says, kissing her future daughter-in-law’s forehead. “You did so good.”

It’s a bit of a whirlwind again after that. Blair delivers the placenta, which I wish I never witnessed, all while our daughter rests on her chest. I can’t take my eyes off of them for anything in the world and I keep getting angry at my tears for blurring the sight of my girls.

She lays back against the pillows, exhausted.

“That really fucking hurt.”

FIFTY-THREE

BLAIR

I’m exhausted.

And more than a little paranoid.

I’m terrified to let my daughter out of my sight and a few of the more experienced nurses turn their noses up at it, saying there’s nothing wrong with utilizing the nursery and getting some sleep, but Colt finally puts his foot down and makes it clear they need to stop asking.

A lactation consultant comes in to teach me how to breastfeed, and I’m grateful that baby bear seems to take to it pretty quickly. Colt watches in awe, his finger huge against our daughter’s cheek as he strokes it.

The joy of the moment is taken away by Colt’s phone vibrating again and him sighing, thumbs flying across the screen.

“Who’s ticking you off so early this morning?”

“My whole goddamn family,” he grumbles. “Almost all of them are in the group chat begging to come by, even though I’ve already told them we don’t want visitors until we get home.”

“Is Mama in that chat?” I ask him with a sly grin and he shakes his head.

“Nah, this is just the sibling one.”

“Add her. I bet they straighten up pretty quickly.”

Colt grins back at me like I’m a mastermind. His phone only vibrates a few more times before it finally silences and I know Mama handled it.

“Were we still thinking Hope for her name?” he asks after a few more minutes of watching our daughter eat in awed silence.

I swallow, my smile falling a little as I try to build up the courage to tell him how I’m feeling, because in a way, it’ll help determine her name. “I don’t think I want to do that again.”