Page 61 of Tanner

Tanner dragged the underwear on and stood. He didn’t look back right away. “Then don’t say you do.”

“I said I know enough.”

Something in Miles’ voice made Tanner turn.

Miles was sitting up now, the sheet low on his hips. “I know you kept going,” Miles said. “I know you kept her with you. I know none of that came from you having better options and turning them down.” Tanner stared at him as Miles continued. “You were a kid trying to keep another kid alive. I’m not going to sit here and judge you for what you did for her.”

Tanner turned away and walked to the window, and stood there with one hand braced on the sill. Outside, the yard was mostly shadow, but it wouldn’t have mattered if it was daylight. He still wouldn’t have seen anything.

“You should,” Tanner said after a moment.

Miles didn’t answer straight away. When he did, his voice was quieter. “Why?”

Tanner laughed softly. “Because most people do.”

“Most people aren’t in this room.”

Tanner dropped his head for a second, then straightened again. “You listen to me say all that and don’t hear trouble?”

“I hear trouble,” Miles said. “I hear what it cost you. That’s not the same thing.”

Tanner closed his eyes briefly, hearing the bed shift behind him. A second later Miles came up behind him, not touching at first, just there and giving Tanner time to move away if he wanted to.

When he didn’t, Miles rested a hand on Tanner’s shoulder. “I’m not saying it was good. I’m not saying I’m glad it happened.” His hand stayed where it was. “I’m saying I’m not going to push you away for the choices you made when you didn’t have many.”

Tanner swallowed. That was the part that got to him. The absence of any judgment where he’d been prepared for it. Whatever this was with Miles, it hadn’t gone the way Tanner expected, and that should probably have worried him more than it did. He’d wanted Miles from the start, but now it was becoming more.

He turned before he could think too hard about it. “You should’ve reacted worse than this.”

Miles looked at him. “Sorry to disappoint you.”

Tanner chuckled softly.

Miles’ hand slid to the side of his neck. “You done trying to scare me off?”

Tanner stared at Miles. “Maybe.”

“Didn’t work.”

Tanner looked at him for a few seconds, then he leaned in and kissed him. This time it was slower. Just Tanner needing to feel for himself that Miles was still here, and he was.

When they got back into bed, the room stayed quiet for a long time. Tanner thought Miles might bring up the paperwork then, with everything else already open between them, but he didn’t. He left it alone, which Tanner appreciated.

He woke early out of habit and lay still for a moment, staring at the gray light around the curtains. Miles was awake beside him, flat on his back, one arm bent under his head.

“You always wake up this early?” Miles asked.

Tanner turned his head. “Usually.”

Miles looked over at him. “You get any sleep?”

“Some.”

“I have to go.” As he spoke, Miles pushed the sheet back and sat up, then reached for his underwear. Tanner watched him get dressed without saying anything. When Miles was dressed, he leaned down and kissed Tanner.

At the bedroom door, Miles stopped and looked back at him. “I’ll call you later,” he said.

Tanner looked at him for a second, then nodded. “Okay.”