Page 69 of Tanner

Miles was quiet for a second. “I’m sorry.”

Tanner shrugged a shoulder. He didn’t want sorry. Sorry didn’t solve anything.

Chapter Nineteen

Miles stayed in the kitchen after Tanner took Savannah to bed. From where he stood, he could hear Tanner’s voice, then the creak of the floorboards as he moved around her room. He leaned back against the counter and waited. Tanner had been holding himself together all evening. Miles figured the reality of his situation would hit once Savannah was asleep.

CPS had been gone a while, but the place didn’t feel right, like there was a heaviness in the air. Even Savannah had been quieter at the table. Tanner had answered their questions, and done what he needed to do, but to Miles he’d looked controlled, like Tanner was barely holding it together.

When Tanner came back into the kitchen, he looked tired. Strain showed on his face, his shoulders tense. He stopped by the table and dragged a hand over his face.

“She’s asleep,” he murmured.

Miles nodded. “Okay.”

For a second Tanner said nothing. He stood there with one hand on the chair, staring at the table as if he had forgotten why he had come back into the room.

“Are you alright?” Miles asked.

Tanner gave a short laugh but there was no humor in it. “No.”

Miles pushed away from the counter. “Come here.”

Tanner looked at him, then stepped forward. Miles put a hand on the back of his neck and felt the tension there straight away.

“You were holding it together while they were here,” Miles said.

“Yeah.”

“And now you’re not.”

Tanner’s mouth moved, and Miles thought he might give him a small smile, but he didn’t. “No, not really.”

“I’m here if you want to talk.”

Tanner looked away. “I hate that they can just turn up here. That they can knock on the door and walk in and start deciding things.”

Miles said nothing. He just nodded, encouraging Tanner to keep talking.

“I know they have a job to do,” Tanner murmured. “I get it. I do. But standing here while they look around my house and ask me if there’s food in the cupboards and where she sleeps and what my plan is.” He shook his head. “It makes me feel about fifteen and that I don’t have a clue.”

Miles kept his hand on him. “You answered everything.”

“Not everything.”

“You answered enough.”

Tanner let out a slow breath. “That’s the problem. It never feels like it’s enough.”

Miles could hear the strain in Tanner’s voice. Tanner was still quiet, but Miles could feel the slight tremor in his body. “Tanner—”

“They said they weren’t removing her today,” Tanner said. The last word came out hard. “Today,” he repeated.

Miles clenched his jaw. “Yeah.”

“Telling me not today doesn’t help.” Tanner looked at him. “It just means they’ve thought about it. That they are thinking about it.”

Miles held his gaze. “I know.”