Page 3 of A Sugary Life

Phoenix walked away and headed into the pantry.

Yaro’s gaze slid Shay’s way. “You’re being given a second chance here. Don’t fuck it up.”

Shay was never surprised when any of Zander’s closest circle knew everything. They had eyes and ears everywhere. He dipped his chin, but Shay couldn’t respond. He walked away. It seemed he had a choice to make. The moment Shay laid eyes on Phoenix, he already knew he wouldn’t have the strength to steer clear. Shay didn’t know what Phoenix felt any longer, but he already knew things weren’t the same. He didn’t know if Phoenix had gone out into the world and found someone new. It was possible Pheonix would give him the cold shoulder from here on out. Phoenix had been right to run from Shay. Now that Shay had his biggest obsession back in his sights, he scared himself a little. He thought he had let go. Now he knew he never would.

Chapter Two

Phoenix stared at his reflection, lost in his head. Shay Armstrong. Holy shit. Shay Armstrong. He looked even more gorgeous than Phoenix remembered. It was not like Phoenix could say they should have warned him. They had, but Phoenix hadn’t expected to see him so soon. Not that he would give Shay the satisfaction of knowing that. Phoenix sure as hell hadn’t expected to still feel exactly as he had when he left. Full of love, hurt, and confused. Only two people knew the full story of his complete humiliation at the hands of Shay. Phoenix had never told a soul. He didn’t imagine Shay had either. Phoenix wasn’t sure who came out looking worse in that story, but he knew Shay wasn’t going around telling the tale.

He shouldn’t have admitted to knowing exactly how long it had been since they had last seen each other. The thing was, Shay had snatched him into a hug as if nothing had happened to send Phoenix running. Hell, maybe Shay was just really that oblivious. When he looked back on their friendship, he always questioned every word spoken between them. His chest hurt at the thought of looking back at all. Each time Phoenix thought about the last time he had set eyes on Shay, his chest wanted to cave. He still felt exactly as he had at that moment. Maybe Phoenix didn’t belong here after all. He needed to clear his head.

Zander’s home looked out over the ocean. The property was beautiful. That first night he had been brought here for a health assessment and treatment still lived in his head. In theory, he should probably hate the sight of this place and the memories this house invoked. Instead, Phoenix felt free. Yaro had sat outside with him while Phoenix breathed fresh air for the first time in memory. He had felt safe. Phoenix needed that now.

He strolled along the bluffs and let the wind rock him on his feet. His gaze never left the water. The ocean was another sight that could have gone either way in his memories. He had been shoved into a shipping container with other kids. Phoenix had no idea how many. It had been too dark to see. All he had known was the sickening feeling in his stomach when the nonstop rocking began. If Phoenix had anything in his stomach, he had lost it way before the dry heaves began. Then came the nightly visits where no one knew who would be next, but they knew they would have to listen no matter what. He didn’t know what had been worse: the pain or the screams. Sometimes Phoenix still covered his ears when sounds bombarded his brain as if he were still there. After the ship, they had been moved to a big truck of some kind. Then the next thing he knew was the smell of freedom: sitting here on these very bluffs with Yaro. For a moment, Phoenix considered taking one step too many. People would likely think it was an accident. No one had to know he made the choice.

Like nearly every time before, when Phoenix’s thoughts turned dark, he turned away from the edge. This time, Phoenix physically turned and spotted a figure wearing white and sitting on the ground in the distance. He headed that way only because he would have to pass them to get back inside the house anyway. The closer he got, the more his heart sped. It was almost funny how, even with as much as Shay had changed, Phoenix would still know him in the dark. He thought about widening his path and leaving Shay to whatever he had going on. Phoenix would be damned if he let Shay send him running again.

As he neared, Shay smiled. “You shouldn’t walk that close to the edge. It’d kill me if you fell.”

Phoenix rolled his eyes. “You haven’t set eyes on me in five years. I doubt my death would cause you a single night of lost sleep.”

Shay’s smile vanished. “First off, I’ve been assigned as your guard. I’m in charge of your safety. Setting that aside, I’ve lost countless nights of sleep since I last saw you.”

The urge to roll his eyes again was thick. “Welcoming every woman in town into your bed, no doubt.”

“Stop.” The demand was quiet yet deadly-sounding.

Phoenix gave him a sharp nod. “Done. I’ll let Zander know I need a different guard tomorrow. I never intended to plague your life again. If I had known you work here—”

“Stop.” This time, the demand sounded tired. “Please, just stop.”

Phoenix’s hands lifted and fell. Shay was right. It had been five years. Phoenix should be over this. It shouldn’t hurt to the point of anger to see him. Damn, he still couldn’t even admit he had known Shay would be here. He needed to let this go.

Phoenix flashed Shay a sad smile and walked away without another word.

“You were right, you know.”

Phoenix froze as Shay shouted words. He didn’t turn around. Phoenix couldn’t.

Shay obviously saw his stopping as permission to go on. “I was just scared and mixed up. The therapy they had us in wasn’t working. There was a lot going on inside my head. I was scared as hell I was no better than the men who had abused us, but you were right about me.”

Phoenix glanced over his shoulder and nodded once to let Shay know he had heard. Now he had to get away before he broke down. It seemed running truly hadn’t changed a thing.

As he walked back to his bedroom, Phoenix’s legs felt heavier with each step. He couldn’t stop the memories from flooding back.

Damn. Shay’s eyes. Those dark blue beauties stared down at him with a hunger Phoenix had craved for much longer than he cared to admit. Phoenix didn’t even care he had to crane his neck to hold his gaze. Shay’s hands rested on Phoenix’s hips, and Phoenix couldn’t focus on anything else. Love swelled inside Phoenix to the point of choking him.

“If you plan to kiss me, you definitely should.”

Shay blinked. The lust was gone. He dropped his hands and took a step back. “Dude, what? No. You know I don’t swing that way. Of course, I’m cool that you do, but no. I love you, but ewww.”

Phoenix had heard it all before. This time, he couldn’t brush the moment off as a joke. He couldn’t. Phoenix rolled his eyes. “I hate to tell you, dude, but straight guys don’t look at other men like you were just staring at me.”

Shay’s neck and ears turned bright red the way they always did when Shay got mad. “You need to fucking stop, Phoenix. You’re always doing this shit.”

Oh, Phoenix was pissed now too. “Because you’re always looking at me like you’re about to kiss me.”

“That’s fucking gross.”