Page 163 of The Incendiary

Guilt weighed on my chest. “Do you think he’ll forgive me?”

“Honestly?” Finn cringed. “I’m not sure, Ary.”

Could I really blame him? I knew the risks of keeping the truth from so many people, including Ezra. He was loyal to Elias and the Wintertons. Based on his knowledge, he had every reason to be.

“You can’t keep this up, what you’re doing.” Finn’s voice was wary.

“I know,” I agreed. “The third test is just in a few days. Let me finish Commencement. I’m telling Elias right after.”

He pursed his lips. “You’ve been postponing the inevitable in the meantime.”

“Maybe,” I shot back. “Or maybe I’m doing exactly what needs to be done.”

“It’s not good,” he warned. “You should tell him now.”

“And what good is a queen who can’t prove she can fight along-side her people?” I said between gritted teeth. “The moment Elias finds out who I am, I fear he’ll try to lock me up and have me guarded. He’s not going to let me breathe, Finn.”

“You don’t know that⁠—”

“I do. Especially after what happened to me in Brinnea. Especially if he knows that Gav—” My heart pinched at the thought of him. Tears seared the back of my eyes like the bluest of flames. Saying his name would bring me to my knees, weeping, and I couldn’t allow that. Not now, and not here.

“That Smyth did what?” Finn paled. “What did happen in Brinnea? Damond’s note didn’t give any details⁠—”

“Sinclair!”

Finn cursed under his breath, snapping straight and tall beside me. I had no idea where Elias had come from, but he now stood feet away, face tight with suspicion.

“How do you know our new cadet, Sinclair?” he barked a little too aggressively.

“I don’t,” Finn lied. “I just met her.”

Elias glanced between us in clear disbelief. “Seems like an awfully heated exchange for two people who just met. What were you two doing hiding in the shadows?”

“Well,” Finn stammered. “I⁠—”

“We were acquainted once, briefly, in passing,” I rushed out, saving Finn from his admirable inability to be dishonest. “When he was stationed on the eastern coast.”

“Acquainted,” Elias echoed in a voice that was dark and a little too smooth, the way he did when he was suspicious. “Interesting choice of words, Fera.”

Was he jealous of Finn now? Mavic, I could understand. He was a gorgeous smart-ass who had a reputation with women. But Finn? Good, honorable Finn who only ever had eyes for Gemma?

“Yes,” Finn confirmed with a stern nod, oblivious to the implication. The sweet man. He was too good. “It was a while ago.”

“Four years ago?” Elias nearly shouted. “You were stationed south of Brinnea four years ago. Fera’s only twenty. I was under the impression you hold yourself to high standards when it comes to refraining from mingling with underage women. Something you need to confess to Tremaine?”

Oh, good gods.

Finn choked on his own breath and added a good arm’s length between us. “No, that is definitely not something that has happened at all, ever, nor will it ever happen.”

“It didn’t, and it won’t,” I confirmed, countering Finn’s panic with cool composure. “And even if it did, it’d be none of your gods-damned business.”

Vomit pooled in my belly, snaked up my throat, but I forced a honey-sweet smile.

Finn tensed beside me, his nervous eyes darting back and forth between me and Elias. Face contorted with remorse, Elias looked like he wanted to say more but decided to hold back in Finn’s presence.

“I need you both in the main hall,” ordered Elias. As he strode away, he turned to see that we weren’t yet following him, and gritted out, “Now.”

We obeyed, but I could tell from Finn’s apprehension that he wasn’t looking forward to whatever was about to unfold. We entered the hall space near the wall, remaining as unnoticed as possible.