Page 35 of The Incendiary

“Reading,” she said when I found her leaning against a shelf with a green book in hand, clearly waiting for my arrival. She tapped her fingers along its spine. “Another way to pretend I’m elsewhere.”

It was easy to see why she’d want to escape into worlds where there weren’t bars on her bedroom window. “You know, Ella, I would really hate it if you weren’t here right now.”

Her back gently hit the shelf behind her as I closed in, but she brushed her fingers over the bare skin of my chest beneath the guard’s jacket. “Yes.” She glanced anxiously between my eyes and mouth. “Right now, I only want to be here.”

I lifted my hands to her face. The moment my fingers met her skin, she stilled. What an honor it was to be the one to ease her nerves.

She leaned into my hand. Pleasant heat traveled from my fingers up my arms and into my body, infiltrating every cold and empty space this unforgiving world had carved into me.

“I don’t have a coin,” she whispered, “but if I did… what are you thinking?”

That you want to kiss me, too.

I would be lucky to get one kiss. Maybe that was all I’d ever get, but the gods could go fuck themselves if they thought I wasn’t going to try for more.

“I’m thinking that I want you so badly I can barely breathe,” I whispered, watching surprise pass over her features. “I’m thinking that all my life, I’ve accused the gods of forsaking me. But if a world exists where you choose to look at me, I know that can’t be true.”

When she looked up at me with pure, green-gold eyes sparkling with hope, I failed to be patient a moment longer.

“Can I kiss you, Ella?” I asked her, my voice raspy and desperate.

Her breaths grew shallow. I tightened my arm around her, securing her against me. “I’ve never kissed before.”

I brushed my thumb across the soft skin of her cheek, then her bottom lip. “That’s okay. I’ve got you.” I rested my forehead against hers. I needed more of her. More contact, but I wasn’t going to kiss her until she gave me the go-ahead. I wasn’t going to fuck this up.

“Then… yes.” Her tongue darted out to wet her lips. My mouth watered, and I bit back a groan. “I would like that very much.”

I still told myself I shouldn’t. She’d been stuck inside this castle with little exposure to the outside world, but she was also better than I’d ever be and more than I’d ever deserve. Not to mention I’d be raked over the coals, gutted, hanged, burned at the stake, and the gods knew what else if her uncle found out I’d so much as looked at her.

Being hers didn’t feel only like a blessing, but a vow. She felt things so strongly. Being the man privileged enough to try and win her heart made me responsible for it. For her.

Kissing her felt like accepting a responsibility. I didn’t need to go any further to know she was it for me. Kiss her once, and it would become my job to protect her against everything and everyone, even myself. At all costs. Against all odds.

Something told me we would be impossible, that she might be the end of my life as I knew it. But gods, I loved her so much more than I wanted to live. So, I let myself get lost in her loving gaze and internally muttered, Fuck it.

Ella inhaled sharply the moment my lips touched hers—a surrendering gasp that nearly undid me. I forced myself to be gentle and slow. To savor her sweet lips against mine, even though the beast in me longed to take and claim her as mine, mine, mine!

Goose bumps spread across my body, and every breath she took was akin to that first warmth of the indoors after being stranded outside in the dead of winter. When the heat engulfed and soothed every inch of your skin. Sweet relief from everything harsh. She was a bright light devouring shadows.

Her lips and skin were divinely soft, like silk. I was convinced the gods themselves had crafted her just to bring me to my knees.

And how willingly I would kneel.

She tasted like berries and honey and light. And she was addictively responsive. At the second brush of my lips, she reached up, twisting her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck.

Yes. Hold on to me. Don’t ever let go.

“Gavin.” She whimpered my name—a beautiful, trusting plea. She wanted more. I turned us so her back was against the corner wall instead of a bookshelf, wound my fingers in her hair to cushion her head, and swore to myself that nothing would ever take her from me.

She was mine.

She would always be mine.

I tested her limits by darting my tongue over her bottom lip. She opened for me immediately, her soft moan nearly breaking every chain I had on myself. I cupped her face in my free hand, better angling her mouth against mine. Like a feral hound pursuing its final meal, I deepened the kiss, chasing the air she breathed like it would disappear if I didn’t catch it. Like she would disappear if I wasn’t careful.

She trembled and melted against me as I kissed her deeper, seeking her taste—soft, silky, light, and so fucking sweet.

Her needy little sounds vibrated through her body straight into my heart and soul. My body sought relief inside her with soul-aching desperation, but satiating my own needs mattered to me the least. Did I want her? Ridiculous fucking question. I wanted her past, her present, her future. Her scars and scrapes and tears and smiles and laughter and every single thought and feeling she kept tucked away in the recesses of her beautiful mind.