Page 66 of The Incendiary

“You’re crazy.” Her mouth twitched as she tightened her arms and legs around my waist. I had always been a little unhinged. Quick to snap wrists when someone owed me money. I punched a little too hard, ran my mouth. And when it came to Aryella, crazy and obsessive didn’t quite cover it.

“I am,” I chuckled.

“I should say⁠—”

“I don’t want you to say anything, if you’re not sure. I just need you to know how I feel.”

I love you.

I’m so far gone for you, and I don’t ever want to come back.

I didn’t need to hear it repeated now. As long as she kept giving me her time, I would earn those words, no matter how long they took.

But I could see that something was eating her alive. A dark thought feeding on her light.

“What are you thinking?” I asked.

She considered her words carefully. “As sad as it sounds, I wasn’t sure anyone outside that castle would ever have the chance to love me.”

With a deceased father she’d never known, a sick mother, and a callous, controlling uncle, only the gods knew the last time she’d felt loved and cherished just for the perfect girl she was.

I’d figured out that soothing, beautiful words were a balm to her nerves. Being the one to give her what she needed was an honor of the highest degree.

“Then let me do that for you. Let me love you.” I pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. “Let me be your first.”

And your last.

And your only.

She kissed me back. Her mouth, urgent, hot, and pleading against my own, said everything she wasn’t ready to say. I gripped her hair and kissed back with equal fervor. I devoured each of her panting breaths and whimpers.

She pulled away only to whisper, “Happy Birthday,” and then, “I hope it’s been a good one.”

It was the best birthday I would ever have.

EIGHTEEN

ARYELLA

My twenty-second birthday was one of the best days of my life, because I spent that day with you. Today is the third of Nyxar, over four centuries later. You’re still asleep, bundled up, warm and safe by the fire, while the others mull and fuss about until our daily training begins.

Today you’re twenty, and I’m grateful that after four hundred years, I finally get to spend one of your birthdays with you.

—FROM THE BUTCHER OF NYRIDA’S LAST KNOWN LETTERS TO QUEEN ARYELLA I

It was the morning of the first challenge, and the entire cabin was abuzz with nerves and excitement.

I’d decided I would have to wait until Elias was gone from the fortress to break into his living quarters and search for that key. The endeavor would be reckless no matter what, but I could be as smart as possible. I just hoped I was quick enough. I wasn’t sure how much time Gavin had. At some point, Molochai was bound to give him my name.

“Are you nervous?” Mina asked me. She and Mavic stood by my bunk. I dropped to the floor and began to lace my boots.

“Not… nervous.” I was anxious to see how I would fare against them all alone.

“We’ll protect you.” Mavic winked and smiled at me.

“No!” I rushed out. My eyes darted between them. “Protect each other. Not me.”

Cadets couldn’t kill other cadets. I suspected Elias would be a bit more lenient if someone tried to kill me, but the twins were safe from the others on principle. The thought of either of them putting themselves in danger to protect me sent panic climbing up my throat.