Page 90 of The Incendiary

At that, I groaned out loud, because for fuck’s sake.

Where the hell have you been?

His response was quick. Too quick.

I cannot tell you, Aryella. I promise you that every choice I’ve made, I’ve made to protect you.

I shook my head while frantically scribbling. Protect me from who? Molochai?

The pause before the next note was so long I thought he was refusing to answer again, but when the paper faded in, I snatched it out of the air.

Yourself.

My gut churned in denial as I wrote, I’m a danger to myself?

Your reckless propensity to sacrifice yourself for others has proven it so, don’t you agree?

My face heated with shame. I still blamed myself for being impulsive, no matter how many times Damond or anyone else made excuses for me. But I wouldn’t let my uncle use that against me. He was being elusive on purpose to throw me off.

That’s not what I mean, and I don’t think it’s what you mean, either, I wrote.

Tell me what it is I mean, then, Aryella, if you’re so sure.

Gavin told me Simeon feared what I would do if unleashed.

You mean my power, I noted. You were afraid of me and what I could do. You’re afraid of what I can do now. Did you let me starve back then, too? To weaken me?

My pulse doubled and pounded in my ears at his reply.

There are other ways to suppress power.

Bile rose in my throat as I scribbled, What other ways?

The waiting made my chest throb. All I could do was pray the delay meant he was writing me a thorough answer. I was relieved to see exactly that.

While our bloodline magic exists in your veins, you also possess power from the Selvaren. It is more than my own. It cannot be fully silenced but can be suppressed enough that you are not a danger to those around you. That is what I did centuries ago, Aryella, to protect you and to protect everyone.

I scribbled back two words. And now?

Irritation hung heavy in the intangible space between us.

Now, your death and rebirth have reset anything I previously suppressed. I can’t help you. You were supposed to come to the Caves. To me.

“You aren’t even at the Caves!” I shouted aloud, my patience breaking.

I was, he wrote back. Until he disobeyed my orders and I’ve been forced to clean up the mess he made. Now, thanks to him, you’ve gone completely rogue.

I laughed, delirious from too many nightmares and not enough sleep. Or maybe I was so grateful that Gavin had given me time to breathe before letting me go that Simeon’s irritation felt humorously insignificant.

I fear for those around you, Aryella.

My face fell. I’m not going to hurt anyone.

When I picked up his next note, I felt his panic.

You don’t know your powers, but I can help you learn to control them. It may be trial and error, but together, we can do it.

I thought of the way I’d burned that snake after it bit Shera.