Page 116 of Sorrow & Strangers

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Fine.

Anger ripples through the message, but I don’t care. In fact, I am happy about it. Let him stew. Dick.

“You’re back!” Alice says from the kitchen, smiling at me as she flips an egg in the pan.

I nod. “I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I went to the gym.”

Alice smirks, giving me a knowing smile.

“We worked out. That’s it.”

Alice sniffs, and when she can’t smell sex on me, she clicks her tongue. “Boring,” she says, putting the egg on a muffin and placing it on a plate before handing it to me. “Want to go out tonight?” she asks. I can hear the hopefulness in her voice, but I think about Rafe. We’ve not left him alone since he fell, and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with it now. Maybe we could get a sitter? Though I’m not sure who I’d trust enough to ask. Also, Rafe would hate it if we asked someone to babysit him.

“Let me think about it,” I say, picking up the sandwich and walking out of the kitchen.

“Okay, but you know you want to!” Alice calls after me as I head toward the stairs.

I spend most of the day in my room studying and catching up on my schoolwork, but I catch myself watching the clock. The time seems to drag, and my mind keeps drifting to my training with the stranger. After last night, it would be foolish to expect him to behave, and thinking about it has my stomach fluttering. I am not sure how I’ll get through it or keep anything . . . inappropriate from happening.

As I get ready, the fluttering in my stomach turns to knots, intensifying with every step I take through the forest. By the time I can see his outline in the clearing, anticipation and the desperate need to be anywhere but here have me a confused, jumbled mess of conflicting emotions.

He turns to face me when I step into the clearing. “The King of the Fae has demanded that the Grand Arcane surrender you and withdraw the protection of Avalon. Your headmaster will need to make a choice.”

I stumble to a stop, my mouth opening and closing as I try to process his words. “Why?” I finally blurt out, shaking my head even as the word leaves my lips. It’s a futile question. I know why. I’m not yet at my full potential, and I know they want to handle me. It is easier to kill me now, before I become the monster they clearly fear. An enemy that has not yet flourished is easily pruned.

“He knows what you are,” the stranger says, his gaze locked on mine.

That takes me off guard. “What I am?”

He moves in slowly, his long strides swallowing the distance between us. “He called you Seelie.”

I look away, fear curdling within me. It is silly of me not to have expected it. If Aqua knew, there is no way the Unseelie court didn’t. Perhaps he has known since I entered this realm. Had coming to Avalon painted an even bigger target on my back?

The stranger pinches my chin, turning my head and forcing me to meet his eyes. “No more pretending.” He studies my face, my skin tingling beneath his gaze. “You have always been different. But that does not mean you bow to them. You bow to no one.”

I stare up at him, swallowing down my panic. Something within his words emboldens me, and I am grateful to him for the first time in a while.

“Does that scare you?” he asks, his hand still on my chin.

“They want me dead,” I say. It is true, but the words still taste sour. “Perhaps they’ll succeed.” I shrug and look away. “Perhaps they should.”

I am already living with so much pain. Can I handle an eternity of this? I still cling to the Almighty’s words, but they seem so unattainable now. “You will find more than peace, my child. You will find happiness. Joy. Belonging.” A tear escapes at the hollow echo of her words.

He tightens his fingers on my chin, forcing my gaze back to his. “So those ancestors who beg and scream for vengeance will go unanswered? You will allow your line to die?”

Why should I care about my line?

“It was never mine,” I say.

“It was always yours.”

I shake my head. “It’s not mine. Nothing has ever been mine.” The horrific truth of those words sends a fresh wave of pain radiating through me.

“I am,” he says, his voice soft but filled with firm conviction. “I always have been.”

A warm emotion I refuse to define unfurls within my chest, and I swallow the lump in my throat. “And so has your throne. Whether you want it or not. It is yours.”